You and I
by PMakepeace98
Summary: What if Tris and Tobias are able to stop the war before it even began? Together. What would life in Dauntless be like without the war? Fourtris. Chrill. Sheke. Urlene. Fluff. Love. Drama. Games. Parties. Shopping. Work. New leaders. New laws. Weddings? Babies? I DON'T OWN DIVERGENT. Rated T due to language and possible adult related themes. Amar and George are alive. Al isn't.
1. Race against the clock

You and I

Chapter 1: Race against the clock

I see my name in the top spot.

I came first.

I can't believe it.

I look down the list and find that all of my friends have made it into Dauntless as well.

"Congratulations, Tris." Christina says as she hugs me over the table.

"Thanks. You too." I reply, happy that I will have my friends with me.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around to find Tobias smiling at me.

I stand, smiling at him as well.

"You think a hug would give away too much?" He asks.

"You know, I really don't care." And I kiss him, forgetting everyone, and everything, around me. Around us.

When I pull away I find everyone staring at us, mouths agape.

When I say everyone I mean, EVERYONE.

I look down, blushing.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Christina is the first who is able to speak.

I give her an 'I'll talk to you later' look.

"Tris, I need to talk to you." Tobias whispers in my ear.

I nod and he takes my hand, leading me out of the cafeteria and down some paths.

"I'm proud of you, Tris." He tells me on the way.

"Thanks."

We stop outside of a door I don't seem to recognise.

He opens it and I see a bunch of computers around the room, no one is in here, though.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"The control room. I need to show you something, important."

He leads me to a computer and we sit down. He starts typing things on the keyboard and it isn't long before a file appears on the screen. He clicks on the file, opening it.

I see plans.

War plans.

"What are they?"

"You know when you went to Erudite and you told me your brother said that they might be running the government soon? Well, he's right. Erudite are teaming up with the Dauntless leaders to put the Dauntless under simulations so they go and attack Abnegation. You know the 'trackers' you were injected with after your fear landscape?" I nod. "Those are what will make every Dauntless go to Abnegation and kill them. They are really control serums, serums that allow them to control whoever they want. They will activate at seven tomorrow morning, so we have twelve hours to stop them or the Abnegation will die. But it obviously won't work on you if you're Divergent. Meaning they can find out which Dauntless are Divergent, kill them, and get the other Dauntless to kill the Abnegation."

"What are we going to do?"

"Well, I have to find a way to stop the serums from activating first. I can find a way of doing that because I also stole the computer programme that is activating them. You can help. But that is the first thing we have to do. Then we have to get a bunch of people together, show them the plans we found. Then we can get the leaders involved, Max, Eric and Jeanine are the main three, but the other Dauntless and Erudite leaders are involved too. Then we have good grounds to execute them and find new better leaders for both factions."

"Okay, but can I ask you something?"

"You just did, but go on."

"Are you Divergent, too?" I ask that quietly just in case anyone is watching.

"Yeah."

Then we get to work. Trying to find ways to stop the serum from working. Trying to stop the Dauntless from killing the Abnegation, my parents. Trying to stop them from finding out the Divergents, me and Tobias, and whoever else is too.

After five hours of trying I am just about ready to give up but Tobias stops what he's doing and something happens to the screen. The codes that make the serum work disappear.

"What happened?" I question, dumbfounded.

"We did it. The codes are gone, meaning the computer programme is gone, meaning the serums can't work." He says, smiling.

He wraps his arms around me and I put mine around him.

We did it.

The Abnegation aren't going to die. My parents aren't going to die.

The Divergents in Dauntless aren't going to be found. They aren't going to die. We aren't going to die.

We stay like that for a little while before he puts the files on his memory stick and we leave the room, hand in hand.

He leads me to an apartment where I can hear loud music.

He opens the door without knocking and I can see a party is going on. People are dancing and drinking.

He leads me over to someone I recognise as Zeke, someone I met whilst zip lining. He whispers something in Zeke's ear and the music stops. Zeke turns it off.

He tells everyone to get out but a few people he names. These people include Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, Shauna, Christina, Will, Tori, Bud, Lauren and some people I don't know, they are most likely friends with Tobias from initiation or something.

"Right, so some of you may already know this, but for those of you who don't: Erudite were planning on using Dauntless to attack Abnegation." Tobias starts but he's cut off by Will.

"How?"

"The 'tracker' you were injected with after your fear landscape, it isn't a tracker. It's a control serum that allows them to control people to do what they want them to do, unless you're Divergent, then it wouldn't work and they'd find out who you are, and kill you. They were going to use that to make you go to Abnegation and kill everyone there. However, Tris and I were able to wipe the programme the serum was run by. It was going to activate at seven tomorrow morning, but it won't now as we have wiped the programme that makes it work. So we don't have to worry about that anymore."

"What do we have to do now?" Shauna asks.

"Well, we have to arrest the people who were involved in the plan. I have the plan on my memory stick, I stole it from Max's computer after Tris went to see her brother in Erudite and he said that Erudite might be running the government soon. If this plan went ahead without anyone stopping it, that would have been true and we would be one faction down."

"Who are involved?" Someone I don't know says this.

"As far as I know it's only the leaders of Dauntless and Erudite. If we get them to Candor we can put them under truth serum to see if anyone else involved, and arrest them also."

"How are we going to arrest the leaders?" So many questions.

"I don't know, but we need you guys, and a plan. Maybe some other people as well."

We sit for two hours coming up with a plan before we prepare it and put it into action.

I learn the names of the people I didn't know.

There is Luke, James, Amar and George.

So there are sixteen of us.

We split into two groups of eight.

Tobias, myself, Christina, Amar, Bud, Shauna, Uriah and Lynn on one side. We are going to stay in Dauntless and arrest our leaders.

Zeke, Tori, Marlene, George, Will, Luke, James and Lauren on the other. Those are going to Erudite to arrest their leaders.

We are going to use a serum that knocks out anyone in the room, though we are going to wear masks obviously. We are going to tie them up, put them in vans, and take them to Candor for a trial.

Tobias calls the leader of Candor, Jack Kang, so he can get some cells ready and tell him what is going on. Then we all get geared up with masks, guns, knives and other weapons. Zeke has some of the serum already because of a game he plays, he needs to be prepared for anything.

Both groups take some serum and we split up.

According to Tori and Bud, Dauntless and Erudite both have leaders' meetings around this time and they last a while. Tori was from Erudite and has a friend there who knows when all the leaders' meeting are, because she told Tori. Bud knows because one of his friends is an ambassador for Dauntless and he knows when the meetings are.

When our group arrive outside the meeting room we find that the door is slightly ajar. Great.

Tobias shakes the serum and crouches down, pouring the liquid through the gap, into the room.

It turns into a light smoke as soon as it touches the floor and it spreads through the meeting room, we watch through the crack as people fall asleep, some do actually fall to the floor. I see Max and Eric sleeping and laugh quietly.

We stopped them.

We barge in and find all the leaders of Dauntless sleeping peacefully.

We tie all of their hands behind their backs and drag them out of the room and out of the back exit of Dauntless that no one uses. There is a truck waiting for us. Tobias, who is dragging Eric, opens the back door of the truck and throws him in.

I put in one of the female leaders.

Once all of them are in Tobias and I get in the front, him in the drivers' seat and me in the passengers' seat. The others get in the back to make sure no one wakes up. We drive to Candor in silence. Happy that we managed to stop the leaders' plan.

…

We are all in Candor now, waiting for the prisoners to wake up. They are all in cells, the leaders from Erudite and Dauntless.

The news of the trial has spread through the city and people from Dauntless, Abnegation, Candor, Amity and Erudite are here to witness it.

I see my parents in the crowd of Abnegation and it takes a lot to not go over there and wrap them both in my arms. Happy that they aren't gone.

I see my brother in the Erudite crowd and he looks angry.

Jack Kang enters the room and stands next to the chair in the centre of the round structure we are in.

"The prisoners are awake so it is time to start with the interrogations. Thank you for those of you who brought them here. I have seen the plans and I understand that this could have been very dangerous had it not been stopped. So thanks. I will show the plans, for extra proof for you all at the end of the interrogations, but let's begin.

The lesser known leaders are the first to come up. They just talk about the plans and why they wanted to help with this. They answer truthfully under the truth serum, obviously. But they are guilty.

Then Eric comes in. He tells the truth in a brutal, fierce, angry way. When asked if there are any other Dauntless involved in the plans, he says no. So does Max.

Then it's Jeanine's turn. She answers in her usual tone. Firm. Polite. But a slight bit of anger is evident.

When asked if anyone in Erudite is involved in the plan she answers, "Caleb Prior."

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	2. Questions

You and I

Chapter 2: Questions

"Caleb Prior."

What?

I'm in shock.

My own brother planned to kill the whole of Abnegation.

He planned to kill our parents.

I look over at my parents and find them standing there, in shock also. My mum has tears in her eyes and I can feel something wet slide down my cheek.

I look over at my brother and he stands there, grinning.

I can't believe this.

I feel someone place a hand on my lower back and look up to find Tobias looking at me, worried. He mouths 'Are you okay?'

I just shake my head and he pulls me into him. His arm wrapped comfortingly around my shoulder.

"Thank you for your honesty." Jack says and the guards take the smiling Jeanine away. "Is Caleb Prior here?"

"Yeah. I'm here." Caleb says, his hand in the air as he walks to the front of the group of Erudite.

"Can you come and testify for us?" Jack asks as a guard walks over to my brother and drags him to the chair in the centre of the room.

Jack injects Caleb with truth serum and it begins:

"What's your full name?"

"Caleb James Prior."

"What was your birth faction?"

"Abnegation."

"What faction are you in now?"

"Erudite."

"Why did you take part in the plot to kill the Abnegation if you are from there?"

"Because I believe that Erudite should be the governing faction. Abnegation is full of people who don't deserve to lead the city. They aren't clever enough to. Erudite knows a lot more than any of them do, so I believe that Abnegation should be removed from the powers they hold in the governing of the city and Erudite should replace them. Just because they put others before themselves, it doesn't mean that they have the right to make laws and lead the city. They aren't doing a good job of it. We also wanted to find out who the Divergent were in the Dauntless population. The serum wouldn't work on those who were Divergent, so we would be able to find them and kill them. Or test on them to make serums that do work on the Divergent, then kill them. Divergents need to be controlled or they will destroy the society. So we either need to find a way of controlling them or we need to kill them. Or both."

"Why do you believe that Divergents need to be controlled?"

"Because they're dangerous and will destroy society."

"Are any of the people that conspired in plotting to kill all Abnegation members Divergent?"

"No, we were all tested."

"Then couldn't you say that a bunch of non-Divergent people were just about to destroy society, and order, because they wanted something that Abnegation had?"

"No, we were going to make society better."

"By killing one of the factions, taking out a puzzle piece in what keeps this society full, and taking over for yourselves."

"Yes."

"Wouldn't that cause some sort of a war. Which would mean society is no longer peaceful, and stable. So you would have destroyed society. Which is what you think Divergents do, but none of you are Divergent yourselves."

"You can think what you want Jack. We would have made this city a better place to live in if we were able to kill the Abnegation and the Divergent population. Not to mention that many Divergents harbour themselves in Abnegation, to keep themselves safe. Well, we know a lot of them are there. That was another reason for us to kill them all."

"Are your parents still alive, Caleb?"

"Yeah."

"Would they be if this plan went ahead?"

"No."

"How do you feel about that?"

"It's for the best of the city. I believe it's selfless to give up something you care about for the best of something else. I wouldn't have minded."

I let another tear slip down my cheek.

He would have killed our parents and not even cared.

I walk to the door and leave, not wanting to hear anything else come out of Caleb's mouth.

I leave the building and lean against the wall, sliding down it so my knees are tucked into my chest and I am sitting on the hard pavement, crying into my hands.

"Beatrice?" A familiar voice says.

I look up and see my parents standing there, looking at me with sad looks on their faces.

"Mum? Dad?"

They sit down in front of me and my mum wraps her arms around my shoulders.

"It's okay." She says in the voice that calmed me when I had a nightmare, or when I was sick.

"He wanted to kill you. He was going to kill you."

"Beatrice, he didn't kill us though, did he? You stopped him. You stopped them all." Dad says.

"You're so strong and brave, Beatrice. I'm so proud of you." Mum finishes.

"It's Tris now." I inform them.

"Tris, I like it." Mum replies, trying my new name out.

"Tris?" I hear Tobias say.

I look up and see him walking towards us.

I smile at him, wiping the tears off my cheeks with my sleeves.

My parents and I stand and Tobias grabs my hand.

"Are you okay?" He asks, stroking my cheek with his thumb, getting some left over tears off it.

"I will be."

"Beatrice, who is this?" Dad asks.

"Mum, dad, this is Four, my boyfriend."

My parents look shocked but my mum is smiling.

"Aren't you a bit old for my daughter?" Dad questions.

"I'm only two years older than her, sir."

"What are your intentions with her?"

"Andrew."

"I love your daughter very much, sir. I wouldn't do anything to hurt her, or anything she doesn't want to do, ever. I care about her wellbeing. I want her to be happy and healthy, and I will do whatever I can to make that happen. I would never disrespect her or do anything to harm her. I promise."

He loves me.

"Very well. I think I know you from somewhere, you look familiar." Dad says.

Shit.

He can't find out he's Marcus' son.

Tobias stands there. Scared.

"Dad, can we please not talk about this?"

"I want to know who he really is. I know Four isn't a real name. Who would name their child after a number?"

"It's original."

"Just tell me who you are or I won't allow you to date my daughter."

"Dad!"

"Andrew!"

"Fine, I'll tell you who I am, if we go somewhere private."

I look at Tobias, shocked.

"Are you sure, Four?" I ask.

He nods.

"You can come back to our house." Dad says.

"No, he can't. Why don't you come back to his apartment?" I suggest.

"In Dauntless?" Dad asks.

"Yeah."

"No, Tris, it's fine. We can go to your parents' house." Tobias replies.

I just nod and my parents lead the way. Tobias and I walking a few steps behind them.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I whisper to him.

"Yeah. I have to get them to like me. They're your parents after all."

"Did you mean what you said? About loving me?"

"Yeah. I know I should have told you first, but I love you more and more with every day. I also know it's probably too soon, we haven't been dating very long, but I can't hold it back. I love you, Tris."

"I love you, too."

I kiss him briefly and it isn't long before we arrive at my parents' house.

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	3. Finding out the truth

You and I

Chapter 3: Finding out the truth

My parents, Tobias and I are sitting around the kitchen table of the house that used to also be mine.

"So, Four, I want to know the truth. Who are you?" Dad asks.

"I am… Tobias Eaton."

My parents look shocked.

But then my dad looks angry.

"You're a traitor. Get out of this house. You aren't allowed to date my daughter." Dad yells, pointing to the door.

"Dad, wait. Let him explain. Please. He's not a traitor. Also, if you think he's a traitor, doesn't that kinda mean you think I am as well?"

I feel tears form in my eyes.

"Fine, you can explain yourself. Beatrice, I don't think of you as a traitor."

"Really? I transferred to Dauntless as well. Just like he did. In fact, he had a better reason to transfer than I did. I just wanted to be free. I wasn't selfless enough to belong here."

A tear escapes my eye.

I stand and leave the room, walking up the stairs and entering my old bedroom. It's the same as it was before I left.

I lay on my old bed and cry, not knowing what else to do.

I listen at the conversation downstairs.

Tobias' POV:

Just after Tris leaves the room I feel an urge to follow her but I know I have to explain myself to her parents. I really want them to like me.

"So, explain yourself, Tobias." Andrew instructs.

"You know the articles that Erudite wrote about Marcus beating me and that being the reason I left Abnegation for Dauntless." They nod. "They're true. He did beat me. He beat my mother as well, before she died."

"That can't be true." Andrew says in disbelief.

"I have the scars on my back to prove it. He is also in my fear landscape, you can ask Tris as well, she saw it."

I stand and turn so my back is facing them. I lift my shirt up and show them the scars which you can still see through the tattoo.

I hear Natalie gasp and I turn back around, pulling my shirt back down, to see them both look at me, shocked.

"He did that?" Natalie questions.

I nod, sitting back down.

"Fine, I believe you. So, now, tell me why I should trust you with my daughter. You might turn out just like him."

"I won't be like him. I love your daughter more than anything in this entire universe. I would rather die than hurt her. If I ever even considered hurting her I would jump right into the Chasm. But I know I won't consider hurting her. I love her, I couldn't hurt her, or think about hurting her. I promise I will always look after her and do my best for her. I will do everything I can to make sure she's happy, and healthy, and is always safe. If she ever gets hurt because of me, I would feel so, so guilty, I would probably kill myself. I love her. I'm going to protect her. I going to do anything I can for her. I promise." I feel tears burn in my eyes.

"And what if you have kids, will you hurt them?"

"No. I couldn't think about hurting our kids either. I would love them just as much as I love Tris. I couldn't hurt them, or think about hurting them, ever. I would look after them. I would do anything to make sure they had a better life than I ever had. I would do everything in my power to make sure they were healthy and happy. I couldn't ever hurt Tris, or our kids, because I love them, and will love them. Always. I promise. I couldn't ever forgive myself if I turned out like him. I would die if I ever did anything to put Tris or our children in danger."

A tear slides down my cheek.

"I believe you. I will allow you to continue dating my daughter. But if you ever hurt her, I need you to promise me that you'll leave her alone, because I don't want my daughter going through that." Andrew says.

"I promise. But I know I will never hurt her."

"Thank you, for being honest. I know it must have been hard for you." Natalie tells me.

"I want you both to like me, and I need to be honest with you if that is ever going to happen."

"Well, I like you."

"Thanks, Natalie."

"I like you, too, son."

"Thanks, Andrew."

"Let's go and get, Tris." Natalie says.

Andrew and I nod and we walk up the stairs, together.

We enter Tris' old room and find her on the bed, crying.

"Beatrice, I don't think you're a traitor. It's up to you to decide what you want out of life. I'm proud of you, for what you did today. For everything. I was a transfer too, so was your mum. I shouldn't have snapped like that. I was just shocked. I'm sorry. I love you." Andrew says as he sits on the edge of the bed.

"I love you, too, daddy." She wraps her arms around Andrew's neck and they hug.

"It's going to be okay." He whispers to her as he rubs her back.

Natalie sits on the bed and joins the hug.

"I love you, sweetie."

"I love you, mummy."

They sit there like that for a while before Natalie asks me to join. And I do.

…

Tris and I stay for lunch but we leave after, thinking we should probably get back to Dauntless. They gave us their phone number though, just in case we ever needed anything.

We get on the train and sit with our backs against the wall or the car.

"Tris, I was wondering, would you like to move in with me?"

She looks at me, smiling.

I'm nervous.

"I would love to move in with you, Tobias."

We kiss.

We spend the rest of the journey chatting about whatever comes to mind.

…

When we enter the Pit it is in chaos. Every single Dauntless member is gathered in the centre of it, talking with each other.

Tori rushes over to us when she sees us.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"We're picking our new leaders." She says.

Tori somehow gets them to all shut up and then she asks people to shout out the names of people they would like to lead Dauntless.

"Four!"

"Tris!"

"Tori!"

Are the only three names called out and everyone seems to agree.

I look at Tris and see her standing in shock. She looks at me.

"I'll do it if you will." She says.

"Well then, it looks like we're leaders. We can get through anything, you and I."

"Together." She finishes.

"Together." I nod.

"Four, Tris. Do you accept your roles as leaders?" Tori asks.

"Yeah. Yeah we do." We say, together.

"I do, too." Tori says.

Everyone cheers.

We're now, officially, leaders.

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	4. First morning, first meeting, first home

You and I

Chapter 4: First morning, first meeting, first home

I wake up the next day with strong, familiar arms wrapped around my waist. I turn around and find Tobias sleeping peacefully next to me. He looks younger when he sleeps, he looks his age. He's free of the tension and strength that makes him Four. He's himself. Free, kind, amazing, still strong, but he's not reserved or tense.

"Are you watching me sleep, beautiful?" He asks.

I blush, looking away. "Maybe."

This is my first morning waking up like this and I love it. I can't wait for more mornings, waking up with him at my side.

"Same here." He says, and I'm in shock.

Did I think out loud?

"Yep. You did."

I look at the clock and see we have our first leaders' meeting in an hour and a half.

I manage to move my way out of his arms and I start walking to the en-suite.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"To get ready, we have a meeting in an hour and a half." I answer as I pick some clothes out of the drawers we sorted for me last night before walking into the bathroom.

I shower, wash my face, brush my teeth, cleanse, tone, moisturise, and dry my hair before getting changed into my underwear, bra, black leggings and a dark red tank top that shows my ravens. I tie my hair into a braid and leave the room to find Tobias no longer in the bedroom, but I smell bacon.

I leave our bedroom and walk through the living room, into the kitchen to find Tobias, fully clothed instead of shirtless like he is when he sleeps, standing behind the stove frying a variety of breakfast foods. Bacon. Sausages. Eggs. French toast. Mushrooms. Tomatoes. And more.

The table has two glasses and a jug of orange juice on, as well as a vase with flowers in it.

"What's with the flowers?" I ask, causing him to jump back. "Aw, did I scare you, big, scary number boy?"

"Maybe." He says looking back at the food he's preparing for us.

"Seriously though, what's with the flowers? I don't see you as the romantic type."

"I thought it would be nice. Do you like them?" He looks scared about what I might say.

"No…" He's upset. "I love them. Thank you."

He breathes a sigh of relief and I laugh.

"I love you, too. And thanks, for making breakfast." I place a small kiss on his lips before sitting at the table and pouring myself a glass of orange juice.

"I love you, Tris." I hear him say and I smile.

…

Right now Tori, Tobias and I are in the meeting room, discussing things.

"Just so you know, you two are going to be the main leaders, like Eric and Max were. You're going to be the best known leaders around Dauntless. I will only hold a part-time position but will attend all meetings. We need two main leaders and anyone else will be part-time. It says so in the rule book, which you should both probably read. You two have the final say but I will bring up ideas. I will be working in the tattoo parlour still because I couldn't leave that place. You two have the biggest leader jobs and will get paid more points than me. But we all get a bigger apartment, a car, a key that unlocks every door in Dauntless, we are allowed to visit any faction we want whenever we want, and we get to run any event we please." Tori says.

"Why are us two the two main leaders? You are both older than me and have lived in Dauntless longer. We don't both need a large pay-cheque." I reply.

"Because Dauntless want you both to be the two main leaders. You're together so there is a better relationship between you both. You're also the ones that saved the day. You stopped the simulations from working. They already look up to you both. So you two can be the two main leaders. I'll be a part-time leader. You have the authority to kick people out, execute people, employ new part-time leaders, and do whatever you want. Sorted." Tori tells us.

"Okay." Is all I say.

"So, let's get to business. We need to sort out apartments and jobs for the new members. Tris already has a job and apartment, we just need them for all the other initiates." Tobias says in his serious, Four, voice.

"Well, Max left a list of available jobs, I don't know why if he was planning on doing what he was doing. There's also a list for available apartments, with the keys." Tori explains.

"We could call the new members here and ask what job they want and give them a key to their apartment." I suggest.

"Good idea." Tobias agrees.

"I'll go ask the new members to come up over the intercom." Tori says, leaving the room to do so.

…

Ten minutes later and the other nine new members are sitting in the room with us.

"Right, so you all need jobs and apartments. There are eleven jobs available. Two of them are initiate trainer positions, but they are part-time so you will need another job. There is space for two Faction ambassadors, two nurses, one tattoo artist in the tattoo parlour, one control room worker, one police officer and two people to guard the fence. Uriah, you came second you can pick first as I already have a job." I say.

"Initiate trainer and ambassador."

Tobias writes down the choices.

"Lynn."

"Police officer."

"Marlene."

"Nurse."

"Peter."

"Fence guard." He says gruffly.

"Will."

"Faction ambassador."

"Christina."

"Nurse and initiate trainer."

"Dwayne." He's a Dauntless born.

"Control room."

"Lisa." Dauntless born.

"Tattoo parlour."

"And that leaves James as a fence guard. Is that okay?" James nods.

"So now you can get the keys to your apartments. Is anyone thinking of sharing?" Tobias asks.

Will and Christina as well as Uriah and Marlene raise their hands.

We hand out the apartment keys and they leave.

"Is that all we need to do today?" I question.

"Yeah. The first meeting with all the factions is Monday, so in five days. We could go and check out the leaders' apartments and pick out which ones we want." Tori suggests this. Tobias and I nod and we go looking at the apartments.

There are ten apartments for leaders only. They are down the same corridor as the meeting rooms and offices. They are bigger than every other apartment in Dauntless.

Tori finds her apartment straight away but Tobias and I have to keep looking.

We get to the last apartment, the one furthest from the offices and meeting rooms and we are praying to god that it's going to be right for us. For what we want.

Tobias opens the door and we step in. It's beautiful.

The living room has light grey walls, there are two black leather sofas along with a grey fabric arm chair. There is a dark brown wooden coffee table in the middle of the open box shape the sofas make. There is a dark brown bookshelf full of books, DVD's, CD's etc. There is a dark brown wooden cabinet which a large, flat-screen TV rests on, inside the cabinet is more shelves with books and DVD's on. There are ornaments on the pieces of wooden furniture as well.

The kitchen is bigger than any kitchen I have ever seen. It has white walls and charcoal grey cupboards made of wood, many have a window in them. There is an island in the middle. A large oven and stove. There are bar stalls surrounding the island. There is a door that leads to a large balcony outside.

There is a large dining room with a dark brown wooden table that has twelve seats.

There is even a downstairs toilet, as well as a cupboard to put coats, jackets, anything.

We go upstairs and find five large bedrooms as well as an even larger master bedroom. Each bedroom has an en-suite and there is a guest bathroom as well of a reasonable size, the en-suites are larger, though.

Our bedroom, the master bedroom, has a queen sized bed, a large, walk-in closet that takes up one whole wall. A built in book shelf. A TV the same as the one down stairs. A French door that leads to another balcony, though this one is smaller than the one downstairs. And the en-suite.

Every other room just has a king-sized bed and a smaller walk-in closet in, with the en-suite.

It's amazing.

More than I could ever hope for.

"So, is this the one?" Tobias asks as he wraps his arms around my waist. We are standing in one of the guest bedrooms.

"Yeah. This is the one." I answer, smiling as I turn around in his arms so I am facing him. "I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, too, Tris."

And we kiss.

"Why don't we go downstairs and watch a movie? We'll go back to the old apartment and grab our things tomorrow." He suggests.

I nod and he takes my hand, leading me down the stairs of our home.

All I can think about is what a great first morning waking up together it was. We had our first meeting as leaders, which was okay. Then we got our first home together. Sure his apartment was a brief home for the both of us, together, but this is our home now.

And I love it.

I love him.

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.

**Hey Ravens.**

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	5. Truth or Dare (Candor or Dauntless)

You and I

Chapter 5: Truth or Dare (Candor or Dauntless)

Four weeks have passed since Tobias and I became leaders, and today Uriah and Zeke are throwing a Candor or Dauntless party at Zeke's apartment. When they first mentioned it I had no clue what they were on about but they explained it to me. It sounds fun, other than the undressing thing, you have to take off an article of clothing if you don't want to answer the truth or do the dare, shoes and socks don't count. I am going to wear lots of layers though, I'll make sure of it.

The past month has been great. My relationship with Tobias is better than ever. We haven't had… you know, yet, but we've done other stuff. Kissing. Hugging. Sleeping with very little clothes on. Literally just underwear, and a bra for me. It may not sound like much but I honestly couldn't imagine my life without Tobias. Our friends are amazing. We're all there for each other. We make each other laugh, cry, we just talk about everything that comes to our minds.

Life is amazing.

Being a leader is hard but it's great. Tobias and I go and see my parents every weekend, because we're allowed. They're getting on great. My parents love him and he loves them. My parents have met my friends as well, they all get along well.

We're a family.

The people put on trial for the attempted murder of Abnegation have all been sent to prison for life. They are in the most highly guarded prison in the city.

We have an hour to the party and I am just picking out some clothes to wear.

I find some yoga shorts that cling to me, I then put on some yoga pants, which are cropped, followed by some black skinny jeans. I put on a new bra Christina forced me to buy, it's black, lacy, and a push-up bra. I put on a dark red tube top that only covers my boobs. I then put on a black vest along with a dark grey overtop that is loose and hangs off the shoulder my ravens are on.

I put my hair into a messy bun, high up on my head, put on some foundation, eyeliner and mascara, and grab my black leather jacket before leaving the room and walking downstairs to find Tobias sitting on the sofa in the living room, dressed and ready for the night full of games and laughter with our friends.

When he sees me he stands and walks over, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"You look beautiful." He tells me before pulling me in for a kiss.

"You don't look that bad yourself. We should go." I take his hand in mine and we walk to Zeke's apartment together.

When we arrive we find that everyone else is already there. When I say that I mean Zeke, Uriah, Marlene, Shauna, Christina, Will, Tori, Bud, Lynn, Amar, George, Luke and James.

We all gather in a circle on the floor in the middle of the room.

"Right, as it is my apartment I shall start. Does anyone not know the rules?" Zeke says, no one raises their hands so he continues. "Four, my best buddy, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless." Tobias answers.

"I dare you to call Tris' brother and tell him you got her pregnant."

"Okay. Tris, do you have his number?" I nod and give Tobias Caleb's number, which he dials and puts it on speakerphone.

_"__Hello, Caleb Prior speaking."_

"Hi, I'm Four, Tris' boyfriend…"

_"__I don't know a Tris, why are you talking about a Tris?"_

"Oh, right, sorry, I meant Beatrice's boyfriend."

_"__WHAT? My sister has a boyfriend! She is way too young for that…"_

"Caleb, that isn't why I called you. I called you to tell you some very exciting news. I got Beatrice pregnant. You're going to be an uncle."

_"__WHAT? YOU IDIOT! HOW DARE YOU KNOCK UP MY LITTLE SISTER? SHE IS ONLY SIXTEEN. SHE DOESN'T NEED HER LIFE RUINED BY AN ILLEGITIMATE CHILD!"_

We are all trying to hold our laughter in.

I realise he said illegitimate. Of course he would want me to be married before having kids.

"Our child is not illegitimate, how dare you say that." Tobias says, extremely offended.

_"__Wait, so you're married as well?"_

"We may as well be. We are so in love. I love her more than anything in this entire world." I know he is being serious here because he looks at me the entire time, with a look of love on his face. "We have sex like every night. Hot. Steamy. Sex." Now he's joking. He's trying to hold in his laughter now.

_"__I do not want to hear about my sisters – sex life, thank you very much. Now where are you? I need to talk to Beatrice."_

"Gotta go now. Bye. Nice talking to you." Tobias hangs up and we all burst out in laughter.

"Amar, C or D?" Tobias questions when we have all calmed down.

"D."

"I dare you to drink whatever drink Zeke and Uriah make for you. The whole thing. And you can't have anything else for two minutes afterwards."

"Okay."

Zeke and Uriah run into the kitchen like a pair of kids excited to pull a prank on someone.

When they come out Zeke has a full glass of a green/yellow liquid which has bits of god knows what in there. It looks disgusting. Good luck Amar.

Amar starts drinking and it isn't long before he looks like he's going to puke. But he keeps going, being the true Dauntless that he is.

When he's done he puts the glass on the floor and looks at the brothers angrily.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU PUT IN THERE?"

"Milk, eggs, ketchup, banana, cake, mushroom, green food colouring, cookies…"

"All right, I don't want to know what you poisoned me with." Amar says, cutting Uriah off before running to the bathroom and puking. George goes in there to help.

They come back five minutes later and Amar has a glass of water in his hands.

"Christina, truth or dare?" Amar asks.

"Dare."

"I dare you to not go shopping for a month."

She struggles, deciding whether to be the first to strip or not. And she…

Takes off her jacket.

Great. I gotta go shopping with her again soon.

I hate shopping.

Unless it's needed. But most of the time it isn't.

"Tris, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"PANSYCAKE!" Uriah yells.

"What's a Pansycake?" I question, confused.

"It's an old word that means coward. It's meant to be a huge insult but no one uses it anymore. Apart from Uriah." Lynn explains. I nod.

"Anyways, how many times have you and Four done it?"

I look down, blushing. She knows I don't like talking about this stuff.

"We haven't." I mumble.

"Sorry, I didn't hear that." Chris says.

"We haven't done _it _okay." I say louder.

They all look shocked.

"What?" I snap.

"You're telling us that you've been with him for more than a month and you haven't thought of doing him yet? I mean look at him." Marlene.

"I'm not ready yet, okay." I tell them.

"Why?" Lynn.

"Because I'm not. It's not up to you to decide when I'm ready to have sex. Have you all forgotten that I come from Abnegation, where there is very little display of affection in public, other than the occasional hand hold?"

"But you're not Abnegation anymore. You're Dauntless." Uriah.

"Yeah, but I still have some Abnegation in me."

"That doesn't mean anything. Obviously Abnegation people have sex. So why can't you?" Christina.

"I'm not saying I'm never going to have sex. I'm just saying that I'm not ready to right now… you know what, I'm going home." I stand and leave the apartment.

Tears fill my eyes as I walk home.

Suddenly I feel something hard hit my head and I fall to the floor. I look up and see a masked person towering over me. They lean down and I smell a familiar smell.

My vision is getting blurry.

I hear someone call my name from afar.

I watch as the masked figure punches my head.

Black.

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	6. Torture

You and I

Chapter 6: Torture

My eyes open slowly and I find myself in a dark room with only one light in it. It's small. The room I mean. There is nothing but me, the dirty, old mattress I am laying on and the light in here.

I sit up but I feel dizzy straight away. I remember I was knocked in the head, twice.

I lay back down and try and think about who may have captured me.

The only enemies I have are Peter and Marcus, but Marcus doesn't know I'm dating Tobias, he didn't even recognise Four as Tobias when we had our meetings. He's my enemy because I hate him for what he's done to Tobias.

Peter however has known me since the beginning of initiation and has hated me since day one. He tried to kill me. He must think I cheated during initiation by sleeping with Tobias to get to the top spot. Now that I think of it I recognised the scent of my attacker and it was Peter's scent.

So it's Peter or someone trying to frame him.

But I don't think anyone else hates me enough to hold me hostage.

I don't even know why Peter hates me.

My thoughts are cut off by the door opening and Peter walking in.

I was right.

"Hey Stiff, glad to see you're awake. Now I can have my fun with you." He snarls as he shuts the door and comes over to me.

"Why? Why hold me captive?"

"Because, Stiff, I know you slept with our instructor just to get to the top spot."

"You know that's a lie. Four had nothing to do with the final ranks. It was the old leaders."

"Yeah, well I preferred the old leaders, I agreed with what they were planning on doing. Then you decided to stop the whole thing. And you and Four became leaders. Tori's all right, but you two. You're cheaters. And don't think I don't know who Four is. Are the reports about his father beating him true?"

I don't say anything.

He punches my face.

"TELL ME!"

"Y-yes. They're t-true."

"Oh, you're scared. If you cry I might take it easy on you. Or not. I'm going to make sure Tobias is broken. For Marcus. I know if I hurt him physically he wouldn't give a shit, but emotionally and he will break. The only thing I can do to hurt him is hurt you. And I'm going to hurt you so hard. Marcus has told me what to do and I'm going to do it. So, let's start by making you weak, so you can't stop what I plan on doing. Turn around so I can see your back."

I don't move and he kicks my side.

"TURN AROUND!"

I turn so I'm on my stomach and I listen as he takes off his belt.

The first impact comes and I scream from the pain.

He kicks my side again.

"SHUT UP!"

He keeps whipping my back. Over and over again. Tears stream down my cheeks and I try to be quiet so he doesn't hurt me as much.

How the hell did Tobias deal with this for years of his life?

I feel blood seeping through the wounds on my back, sticking to my shirt.

I feel weaker the more he hits me.

Sometimes he throws in a punch or a kick as well, just to make things worse.

He finishes after god knows how long and roughly pushes me onto my back. I scream again, earning another punch.

"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO BE QUIET?"

He climbs on top of me, straddling me.

"How many times have you had sex with Four?"

"N-none."

"Oh, you haven't had sex yet. Well, I guess that will make me your first."

He's going to rape me.

"HELP ME!" I scream but he punches my face again, telling me to shut up, again.

"God stiff, you really do have a death wish."

He starts taking off my trousers.

I thrash around.

"STOP MOVING!" He punches my side.

"HELP!" I yell again, hoping someone will hear me but all I get is another punch.

"SHUT UP!" He yells.

He finishes taking off my trousers and I'm too weak to do anything. He unbuttons his jeans, takes them off and removes our underwear as well.

He kisses me roughly on the lips. His own lips hard and cracked, nothing like Tobias'.

"Kiss back you bitch!" he slaps me.

I have no choice. I kiss back for a few seconds before he moves onto my neck.

"By the way. I hope you don't mind that I don't have a condom."

My eyes widen from shock.

But it's too late. He's entered me.

I cry out in pain and he slaps me again and again as he does his business.

I get weaker and weaker.

I can't do anything.

He even takes out a knife and starts cutting me. My face. Arms. Legs. Everywhere.

I'm becoming weaker by the second.

Then everything goes black.

…

I wake to a loud bang and a sore body.

I look at the door and see Tobias rushing in.

My trousers are back on so he can't tell I've been raped.

I start crying as he kneels next to me and picks me up. I scream, the pain being unbearable.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I have to take you to the infirmary." He apologises.

I sleep again.

Tobias' POV:

I've been sitting in the waiting room with my friends, waiting for news on Tris' condition for hours now. Tears haven't stopped coming down my face.

I should have gone with her. I should have been there. But I got there at the last minute. Her kidnapper had already knocked her out and was running with her in his arms.

I see the nurse walk in with a sad look on her face. She calls my name and I rush over to her.

"Is she okay?" I ask in a rush.

"She's weak. She's lost a lot of blood from being whipped and cut and stabbed. We're giving her blood transfusions at the moment. She should also be in a lot of pain so we have pain killers on standby. We can't give them to her until she wakes up just in case she can't feel anything. If that is the case then we'll have to run some tests and see what is going on. We ran tests and she is showing signs of rape, but we won't know the full story until she wakes up. I'm sorry."

She was beaten and raped.

More tears fall down my cheeks.

"Can we see her?" I hear Christina ask.

"Yeah, but only one at a time."

"Four, you should go." Zeke says.

I nod and the nurse leads me to Tris' room. Number ten.

She opens the door and I walk in to find Tris lying there, in the bed, pale and lifeless. The only sign of life in her being the beeping of the heart monitor she is attached to. I sit in the chair next to the bed and take her pale, cold hand in mine. The hand without the needle sending blood into her veins in.

"I'll give you two sometime, talk to her, it might help. Also press the call button when she wakes up. I need to know if she was raped or not so I can run some more tests."

"What tests?" I question, worried.

"I will have to test for STD's and pregnancy, thanks to new Erudite technology you are able to test for those things straight away. But I will talk to you more about it when she wakes up." She leaves the room.

What did the bastard do to her? Who is the man who did this? Is the only thought running through my head.

"Tris, if you can hear me please wake up. I need you. I don't know what that bastard did to you, I don't even know who it was, but I'm here for you, no matter what. I promise. I'm sorry I didn't go with you when you left. I should have. I did follow you and I saw the man knock you out. I tried to get to you, I did, but he was too fast. I'm sorry. I should have left when you did, not after. Then I could have protected you from whatever torture he put you through. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I love you, more than anything in this world, Tris. I will love you, forever. We can get through anything, you and I, together. I will help you through anything Tris, I promise. Just wake up."

She squeezes my hand.

"Tris."

I watch as her eyes flutter open delicately. She looks at me and tears fill her eyes.

"Tobias."

I sit on the edge of her bed and kiss her sweetly.

When we pull apart she starts sobbing.

"Hey, what's the matter?" I ask, I know it probably has something to do with what happened.

"It was Peter. Marcus told him what to do, though. He beat me. He… raped me, without protection. I'm sorry."

Peter.

He did this.

He beat her, then raped her.

Without protection.

Marcus told him what to do.

"Hey, you don't have to be sorry. It's not your fault." I hold her in my arms as she cries, and I press the call button.

**Hey Ravens. **

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	7. Tests

You and I

Chapter 7: Tests

A few minutes after Tobias pressed the call button a nurse walks into the room.

"You're awake. Good. Do you need pain killers?" I nod because everything hurts right now.

She puts the needle at the end of the pain killer supply into my forearm and releases it into my body as she tapes the needle down. I feel instant relief.

"Tris, I need to ask you some questions about what went on when you were kidnapped, okay." The nurse says as she sits on the edge of my bed, by my feet.

I nod, tears still making their way down my face.

"Do you know who did it?"

"Peter Hayes, but Marcus Eaton told him what to do." I speak quietly.

"You mean the Abnegation leader Marcus Eaton?" She's shocked.

I nod.

"Why would he do that?"

I look up at Tobias and I know he probably doesn't want her knowing.

"We don't get along well." I answer.

"Why not?"

"Does it really matter?" Tobias is angry.

"Okay. We know he beat you and whipped you. I can tell from the scars and bruises. But I really need to know if he raped you."

I nod.

"Did he use protection?"

"No. He said he didn't have a condom."

"Okay, we have to test for pregnancy and STD's. I'll be back in a minute I just need to get a blood test needle." She leaves the room and I'm terrified.

What if I'm pregnant?

With Peter's baby?

I could handle it if Tobias was the dad but we haven't even had sex yet.

What if I have an STD?

I could die.

"Hey, Tris. No matter what I'm going to be with you all the way. I promise." Tobias tells me, his hands resting on my shoulders.

"But if I am pregnant it won't be your baby. You're going to want to leave me. I'll be alone. I-I can't live without you Tobias."

"I'm not going to leave you, Tris. I promise. I can't live without you either. If you are pregnant then we'll get through it together. We can pretend that I'm the dad, I don't mind."

"You'd really do that, for me?"

"I'd do anything for you, Tris. I love you."

"I love you, too."

That is when the nurse walks back in with a tray in her hand. She sits on the edge of the bed again, closer to me this time. I hold out my arm for her and she ties something around the top half before drawing blood out of my vein in the crease of my elbow.

When she's done she leaves the room again, telling us we should get the results within the next hour.

We sit there. Waiting. In silence. His arms wrapped around me as he sits next to me on the bed. Me crying silently.

I'm terrified.

I'm scared.

And it is an hour later she walks back into the room and sits on the edge of my bed again, but by my feet.

"Well, you haven't got an STD and there aren't any signs of pregnancy. It may be the wrong time of the month or you just haven't conceived yet. So I would like to book an appointment for you in two weeks to do another test, just to make sure. If it's still negative then you aren't pregnant. I could go and get you a morning after pill, if you would like. It will lower your chances of conceiving if it is just that you haven't conceived yet. It has a ninety percent chance of working so the odds are high that you won't end up pregnant."

I just nod, relieved that I haven't got an STD and am showing no signs of pregnancy.

I want the pill because I couldn't handle having Peter's child and not Tobias'. Even if Tobias means what he said about being there for me then I wouldn't be able to handle knowing that it's not really his child. It might break me. Or us.

She goes to get me the pill and I take it without any hesitation.

"Well, I would like you to stay in for tonight but if your wounds are healing okay I will supply with pain killers you can take home with you tomorrow." She explains.

I nod and she leaves.

"Where's everyone else?" I ask Tobias.

"They're in the waiting room, have been since you got here. They feel guilty about saying those things Tris. They really do."

"Go and get them."

He nods and kisses me before leaving.

He returns a few moments later with everyone who played Truth or dare with us following him. They all look sad. And sorry.

Christina rushes over to me and hugs me tight.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have even brought it up."

"Its fine, Chris."

"No, it's not. It's not my place to interfere. You have sex when you're ready, not because someone forces you."

Tears come to my eyes again and I start sobbing.

"Shit. I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?" She questions as she pulls back.

"Christina, what did you say to her?" Tobias says angrily as he wraps his arms around me again.

"I was apologising and said 'you have sex when you're ready, not because someone forces you' that is when she started crying." Chris explains.

"Tris, it's okay. It's not going to happen again. I promise. I won't let it happen again. I love you. I won't let anyone hurt you again." He whispers to me.

"What happened to her? Why's she acting like this?" Chris asks, concerned.

"It's none of your business Christina." Tobias growls.

"I'm her best friend. I want to know what I did wrong. She can tell me anything."

"Chris, they obviously don't want to talk about it…"

"I don't care, Will. I want to know what I did wrong. I want to know what happened to my friend."

"Will's right Christina, we came to say we're sorry and to see if Tris was all right. Not to bombard her with questions about what happened. She'll tell us in her own time." That was Marlene.

"I just want to know what the bastard did to my friend. I want to know who it was so I can go beat them to a pulp."

"I know, Chris. We all want answers but they'll tell us in their own time. Just give them a break. They've been through a lot recently." Will again.

"Fine. But Tris, let me know when you're ready to talk." Then I hear the door slam.

"I should probably go after her. Feel better soon, Tris." Will says before leaving.

I just cry harder.

Why?

Why me?

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	8. Two weeks later

You and I

Chapter 8: Two weeks later

I was released from the hospital two days after what happened with Christina. Two weeks have passed since then as well. Today I have to go back so they can check if my wounds are healing okay, and for another pregnancy test, to double check.

I haven't spoken to Christina since then. Well, I've tried but she's been ignoring me so I kinda gave up.

Tobias has been amazing, he's been cooking me things, making sure I'm all right, he's been there when I've needed a shoulder to cry on, when I get nightmares he's there. He's the best.

Peter has been arrested, Marcus also has been arrested, because of being part of this and for abusing Tobias and Evelyn before she died. Though our friends only think it's because he beat me. Apparently they were there when the nurse told Tobias that I had signs of being raped, but they were sitting down whilst she was explaining it to him so they didn't hear it.

Tobias and I are on our way to the infirmary, hand in hand. I'm terrified that I am pregnant. As I have said I would probably be okay if it was Tobias' baby, but Peter's, that's something I couldn't handle. Tobias and I still haven't gotten over my fear, which has increased since I was… you know, so if I was pregnant there is no way it could be his.

When we get there I sign in and we wait in the waiting room, sitting in those hard, plastic, uncomfortable, black chairs. Waiting. The nurse comes in ten minutes later and calls my name. We stand and follow her to a small examination room, number forty six. I sit on the black bed, Tobias sits on the chair next to me and she sits on the other chair in the room.

"So first I'm going to check over your scars, make sure they are healing fine. Then I will take another sample of blood and test for pregnancy again. Okay?"

I nod.

She checks over my scars and they are apparently healing fine.

"So before I take some blood I'm going to ask some questions, okay."

I nod again.

"Have you been getting any symptoms of pregnancy? I know they usually don't start until you're around three weeks but every pregnancy is different."

"I don't know. What are symptoms of pregnancy?"

"Morning sickness, but it can come at any time of the day, being more tired or hungry than usual, mood swings, cravings for certain foods or drinks, feeling bloated, not getting a period, feeling dizzy, stomach cramps, things like that."

"I've been tired and hungry. I'm not due on my period for another five days so I don't know about that one. And I haven't been getting anything else. I mean, unless you count me crying a lot as a mood swing." I answer, terrified that all of these things mean I am pregnant.

Then she takes some of my blood and leaves the room, leaving us waiting for an hour, in silence, hoping the answer is going to be negative. That I'm not pregnant with some other persons baby. That being raped only left scars and mental images. That it didn't leave a baby as well. That we're going to be okay. That everything is going to be okay.

When she walks in, closing the door behind her, she sits in her chair and looks at me.

Please tell me I'm not pregnant.

Please.

"Your results came back unclear so I'm going to have to do an ultrasound. Could you lie down for me, please?"

I nod and lay on my back, terrified.

Tobias takes my hand in his and squeezes it.

"Lift up your shirt so I can get to your stomach." She instructs as she sets up the ultrasound machine next to the bed.

I lift my shirt to just below my bra and she quirts some cold gel on it. She puts a wand looking thing on my stomach and moves it around.

I don't look at the screen.

I can't look at the screen.

I'm scared that if I do I'm going to see something that I don't want to be there.

Tobias kisses my hand and I look at him. He smiles gently at me, telling me with his eyes that no matter what happens everything is going to be all right.

Then I realise that the nurse hasn't talked yet.

Does that mean there's something there?

"Why haven't you talked yet?" I ask, scared out of my mind.

"Tris, you are pregnant."

I'm pregnant.

I'm having Peter's baby.

This can't be happening.

Tears fill my eyes.

"But Tris, you can't continue with this pregnancy, even if you wanted to."

What?

"Why?" Tobias asks, now he's worried.

"It's an ectopic pregnancy. The baby is growing in one of your fallopian tubes, not your uterus, where it should be. We only managed to find it because of Erudite's technology. Are you sure you haven't been getting any cramps?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay. Because you're not that far along the baby is too small to cause any damage to your tube. That's why you haven't been getting cramps yet. But if you continue with the pregnancy you will get cramps, you will bleed heavily, your tube will get damaged, and there is a higher risk of you dying. The baby is very likely to die anyway, no matter what."

"What has to happen then?" I question.

"I will have to take you into surgery. I can take the baby out without damaging your tube. This will be easy because you aren't far along, and the surgery I can perform on you is quick, there will be less blood loss, there will be a shorter stay in the hospital and you won't need as much pain relief. The baby will die, but you won't. Your tube won't be damaged so it won't lower the chances of you getting pregnant again if you wanted to have kids. But I need you to sign a form to say that you agree to the surgery before I do it. That is as long as you agree to it. After the surgery I will have to inject you with a drug that gets rid of the pregnancy tissue though, because they will continue to grow and will damage the tube. The drug will make you bleed for a couple of weeks but it will be fine. Do you agree to have the operation?"

I look at Tobias.

His eyes are pleading with me to have the operation. Probably because she said if I continued with the pregnancy I would die, or have a higher risk of dying.

If I live we can have babies together. If I have this operation my tube won't be damaged so it won't lower the risk of me conceiving again.

If I have this operation I don't have to worry about bringing another Peter into the world. The baby is likely to die no matter what I decide. But it's alive now. If I have this operation I am killing a baby. My baby. But if I don't I am also killing my baby. And myself.

"Tris, I really suggest you do this. You're a leader, everyone looks up to you. If you don't do this you'll be at home, in pain, not being able to do anything. You'll probably die from blood loss or something, because you will lose a lot of blood. It will lower your chances of ever having a baby again because you'll only have one tube left that can release eggs. I know you're from Abnegation and that you're probably trying to be selfless here, but you're allowed to be selfish sometimes. Have this operation, live, and have kids some other time. You're sixteen, are you really ready to have a baby yet? Especially a baby that was created because someone raped you, not because you were in love and gave yourself to someone willingly."

I look up at the ceiling as a tear falls down my cheek.

"I'll have the operation."

"Okay, I'll go and get the form you have to sign. Here's some paper towels, clean your stomach off." She gives me some paper towels and leaves the room.

I rub my stomach cleans and sit up, pulling my shirt down as I put the towels in the bin next to the bed. More tears roll down my cheeks.

I decided over the last two weeks that if I was pregnant then I would love my baby from the moment I was told. I mean it was still my baby. No matter if Peter was the dad or not. No matter if I was raped or not. It is still my baby. My flesh and blood. Mine.

And now he or she has to die.

For me.

For my future.

For Tobias' future.

For our future.

I rest my hand on my stomach and cry harder.

My baby is going to die no matter what.

I feel strong, familiar arms wrap around me.

"Everything's going to be okay." He whispers to me.

The nurse comes back in with a clipboard and a pen in her hand. She gives them both to me.

"Can I have some time, alone?" I ask them both.

"Tris…"

"Please."

They both nod and get out of the room.

My hand still rests on my stomach and I am still crying.

"I'm sorry baby, I love you. I really do. No matter if your dad was a monster or not. I love you. I will always love you. I'm sorry I have to do this. I'm sorry I can't keep you. I'm sorry I won't be able to meet you, and hold you in my arms, and teach you how to talk, and walk, and fight, and many other things. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I love you." I whisper to my baby.

I remove my hand from my stomach and take the pen in it. I slowly scribble down my signature.

On the ultrasound machine the image is paused, my baby is there, in my tube. I know it's probably nothing like a baby yet but it is. It's my baby.

I stroke the screen gently with my thumb.

"I love you."

I say again.

I stand and go outside to find my nurse and Tobias out there. Waiting.

They look at me and I give the nurse the form. She tells us she'll be back in a minute and leaves.

Tobias wraps his arms around me.

"Can you go and tell my parents? Everything? I want my mum here, and my dad."

"I don't want to leave you now."

"I'll be fine. You'll probably be able to get them back here by the time the operation is over, and you'll all be in the room by the time I wake up."

"Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Positive." I tell him, smiling at him sadly.

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too." We kiss gently and he leaves.

When the nurse comes back she leads me to a room so I can get ready for the operation.

When I'm done I get on the bed she has outside the room for me, I lay down, staring at the ceiling as she rolls me to the operating theatre. When I'm there they inject something into my hand.

Then black.

**Hey Ravens, how are you?**

**I will update when I can. **

**Please review!**


	9. Pain

You and I

Chapter 9: Pain

I woke up with pain in my stomach. I look around the room and see my parents and Tobias sleeping in the chairs that surround my hospital bed. My mum and Tobias hold my hands, my dad holds my mum's free hand.

I remember what happened and I start to cry. Which wakes Tobias up.

He sits on the edge of the bed and holds me in his arms whilst I sob into him, making his shirt wet with my tears.

"Everything's going to be okay, Tris, I promise."

"That's easy for you to say, you didn't just lose a baby."

"Tris, I love you. I told you before that if you were pregnant I was going to stay with you, and help you. I cared for that baby too."

"Then why were you practically begging me, with your eyes, for me to have the operation?"

"Because I didn't want to lose you. I can't lose you. If I lost you I would have nothing left to live for. I love you. You are everything to me. I want to be able to have a family with you one day and it would have been very unlikely for that to happen if you continued with the pregnancy. If you die, Tris, I die, too." I start crying more. "Also, did you really want a baby that was created because Peter raped you?" He continues.

I pull away from him.

"Can you go, please?"

"Tris…"

"Go!" I yell at him, cutting him off from whatever he was going to say.

He nods, looking sad, and he slowly walks out of the room. I cry some more.

I feel familiar, comforting arms wrap around me. My mum.

She strokes my hair like she did when I was a child and I was sick, or after I had a bad dream.

My dad wraps his arms around us as well.

They keep telling me that everything is going to be all right.

I wish I could believe them.

…

It's been a few hours since I woke up. My nurse gave me some pain killers and the tablet that makes you bleed for days to get rid of the pregnancy hormones that could ruin my tube if they stayed in there for too long. I have to stay here until I stop bleeding.

My parents had to leave an hour ago to go back to Abnegation. They were only allowed to stay for a day.

Shauna is with me now. Tobias hasn't come back since I told him to go.

I don't know why I told him to go. Maybe because he mentioned me being raped. Or because of what he asked. Or maybe because I wanted to be with my parents. I honestly have no idea.

"How're you feeling?" Shauna asks me.

"The same as I was feeling five minutes ago when you asked."

"Tris, you can have more kids in the future, you know that, right? Also, you're sixteen, I think it's a bit too soon to be a mum."

"Yeah, but I promised myself that if I was pregnant that I would love that baby. And I do love that baby. I did something that I promised myself I would never do."

"What's that?"

"Killing one of my kids. I promised myself that I would never get an abortion, or do something to put any of my kids in danger. And I did just that. I killed my baby. The baby I love, even if Peter is the dad and he raped me, it was still my baby, and I still love him or her."

I'm crying again now.

"Tris, there is still time for you to be a mum. You have many more years of living. You can get married and have as many kids as you want. You can have a life."

"Can you go and find Four for me, please? I need him."

She nods and hugs me before leaving.

…

Twenty minutes later Tobias rushes into the room and over to me, wrapping his arms around me again.

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier." He apologises.

"It's fine. You have no reason to be sorry."

He kisses the top of my head.

"I love you, Tris."

"I love you, too, Tobias."

**Hey Ravens, sorry for the wait, I have exams this month to revise for so updates aren't going to be that frequent. Though after May 19****th**** I will be able to update more, I promise. **

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review!**


	10. Home and Fears

You and I

Chapter 10: Home and Fears

It is three days later when I am allowed to go home. I am waiting for Tobias to come back, he's filling out the release forms for me. I am dressed in black yoga pants and one of Tobias' jumpers, along with my combat boots.

He comes in after five more minutes and helps me up from the bed. I am still slightly sore. He has his arm wrapped around my waist as he leads me out of the hospital and back to our apartment. He helps me onto the sofa and takes off my combat boots, placing them on the shoe rack by the door.

"Do you need anything?" He asks me.

"You to hold me." I reply quietly.

He sits next to me and holds me in his arms.

"We'll be okay, you and I. We'll be okay." He tells me.

"I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, too."

He kisses my forehead and doesn't stop holding me until he goes to make lunch. Then he holds me some more as we decide to watch some movies. Then he makes dinner and we watch another movie, wrapped in each other's arms.

And we go to sleep the same way.

…

A month and a half later and I am back to my normal self. I have come to terms with what happened. Peter and Marcus are in prison for ten years because of everything they have done.

Tobias and I have been doing well. He's amazing, as always. We have been to a few leader's meetings as well, with the leaders of the other factions. They seem okay. I guess, and my dad is there so it's fine. We have gone round my parents for dinner a couple of times as well, and they have come here. They really like him, which is good.

Christina and I are friends again. I told her what happened and we have been back to our usual selves. She drags me shopping at least once a week, though, which is so annoying. And she makes me buy things every time. I have enough money to but I don't see why she needs so much stuff, or why I need it. But it's okay. We're best friends again and that's great. Sometimes Marlene, Lynn and Shauna come with us so it's all good. Lynn hates shopping just as much as I do so we just complain together.

Today Tobias and I don't really have to do anything so we are having a day to ourselves, at home, doing whatever the hell we want to do.

Tobias is making us pancakes, for breakfast. He is an amazing cook, I have to say. The best. He can make anything.

We sit at the dining table together, eating pancakes and talking about whatever comes to mind. It has been four months since the day I met him. Three and a half months since we got together. It's been some of the best months of my life, other than the whole thing with Peter anyway.

"So, what do you want to do today?" He asks me.

"How about we snuggle up on the sofa, watch movies, and eat a load of crappy foods?" I suggest. I have gotten a lot more Dauntless lately. More swearing, more alcohol, more parties, etc.

But we haven't had… you know. I'm still scared of it. I know he won't do anything that I don't want to do. I know he won't push me into anything. I know that I can trust him. I know that I love him. I know that he wants to have sex. At least I think he does. But I just can't. We have gotten close to it, well, closer. But as soon as he tries to take my top off I stop him. I stop us. What happened with Peter comes to mind and I just let it consume me.

It frustrates me, so much. I know all of our friends have had sex. Except maybe Lynn because she hasn't got a boyfriend. But I just can't. I know it's probably frustrating him as well. It makes me angry that I can't give him what he wants. It makes me upset. It makes me feel like he shouldn't be with me. Like I'm not good enough for him.

But he constantly tells me that I am good enough for him and that he is the one who isn't good enough for me. He keeps telling me I'm beautiful, and that I am the best thing that has ever happened to him, and that he's willing to wait as long as it takes for me to be ready.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Tobias calling my name.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing, you just looked like you were in a trance. Are you all right?"

"Yeah. Let's go watch a movie."

And that's what we do.

We spend all day watching movies, eating, talking, kissing, and hugging. But not really going anywhere else. Not taking the next step in our relationship. I know I'm technically no longer a virgin, but I want to give Tobias what he wants. I'm just scared to. I'm scared that once we take the next step he will leave me because I'm not good enough for him. I'm scared that it will become more like a duty than making love. I'm scared that he won't love me anymore, after I give myself to him, because the sex wasn't good enough. I'm scared of many things.

But I want him.

I do want him.

And he wants me.

I love him.

I can trust him.

I should be able to do it.

But something inside of me makes me stop.

The memories make me stop.

The thoughts of what Peter did makes me stop.

Everything makes me stop.

I know I need to get over my fear at some point.

But I know it isn't now.

It can't be now.

My body doesn't want it to be now.

At about ten my eyes start to feel droopy and Tobias carries me to our room, gently placing me on our bed. He climbs in next to me and kisses my forehead gently.

"Goodnight, Tris, I love you."

"Goodnight, Tobias, I love you, too."

Then I sleep. Hoping that one day I will be able to give him what he wants, and it won't make him hate me.

**Hey Ravens, sorry for the wait but my exams are over now so I can update more often. **

**Do you mind if I skip to them training initiates in the next chapter?**

**Anyways, I have a new fanfic up, it's a crossover between Divergent and The Hunger Games. Could you go and read it, maybe?**

**Also, I have a poll up about any other fanfics you may want me to write, there is a list of options for you to choose from and you can pick up to three of them. **

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review!**


	11. Initiates and a girl

You and I

Chapter 11: Initiates and a girl

(Time skip – 7 months later)

I wake up with a smile on my face when I remember what today is. It's the day the initiates come. Tobias and I get to train the transfers. Uriah and Christina are training the Dauntless borns.

I'm so excited.

I turn around in the bed and find Tobias sleeping still. I place my lips on his and I kiss him gently. It's not long before I feel him kissing back and the kiss gets harder.

I pull back and smile at his pouty face.

"Morning sleeping beauty." I say.

"Shh, if we don't acknowledge it maybe it will go away."

"Well, it won't go away. And the initiates come today. We get to train the transfers."

"But I don't want to."

"What are you? Three?"

"No, I'm Four."

I laugh.

"Look I need to take a shower and if you aren't out of bed by the time I'm done, I'll not kiss you for a month."

I get out of bed and start walking to the en-suite bathroom.

"You're always welcome to join me." I call before trying to close the bathroom door, but Tobias runs in before I can.

I got over my fear last month. I am now, officially, Six.

We shower, wash, get dressed and go down to the cafeteria to meet Chris and Uri for breakfast.

I am wearing some black leggings, a dark red tank top that shows off my ravens, and a black leather jacket, as well as my combat boots. My hair is in a messy ponytail and I have minimal make-up on, just some eyeliner and mascara.

Tobias is wearing his usual jeans, t-shirt, jacket and combat boots.

When we are all done eating we go to the net and wait. Will went to go and collect the initiates as he is an ambassador and offered to go for us. Tobias didn't want to go in case he bumped into his father, and to be honest I just couldn't be asked to go to the choosing ceremony.

It isn't long before we hear the train passing by and Will welcoming the initiates to the compound before asking who's going to jump first.

Soon someone jumps and we see a grey blob falling into the net. Another Abnegation?

Tobias grabs the girl's hand and pulls her out of the net.

"What's your name?" I ask in my instructor Six voice. "You can only pick once, so make it good."

"Tessa." She replies. She sounds strong but I can see fear in her eyes.

"Welcome to Dauntless." Tobias says.

I lead her to where the initiates have to stand and go back to Tobias.

Overall there were nine transfers and eleven Dauntless borns.

The transfer's names are:

Tessa (female – Abnegation – brown hair and blue eyes – 5'6, my new height)

Meghan (female – Erudite – blonde hair and green eyes – 5'7 – keeps looking at Tobias)

Josh (male – Candor – brown hair and brown eyes – 5'11 – keeps looking at me)

Mitch (male – Erudite – blonde hair and blue eyes – 6'0 – keeps looking at Meghan)

Andy (male – Amity – blonde hair and hazel eyes – 5'11 – keeps looking at Tessa)

Kim (female – Candor – brown hair and hazel eyes – 5'5 – isn't really looking at anybody)

Melody (female – Amity – blonde hair and light blue eyes – 5'6 – is getting along really well with Tessa)

Lewis (male – Candor – brown hair and green eyes – 6'1 – good friends with Josh)

Oli (male – Erudite – black hair with blue eyes – 6'0 – friends with Mitch)

"Transfers stay with us, Dauntless borns go with Uriah and Christina, I'm sure you don't need a tour." Tobias says.

The Dauntless borns leave with Uri and Chris.

"Welcome to Dauntless. I am Six and this is Four, we will be your…"

"Wait, like the numbers? What happened to one, two, three and five?" Kim asks.

"Do you have a problem with our names?" I growl at her.

"N-no." She stutters.

"Okay then. As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted… I am Six and this is Four, we will be your instructors for the next four weeks. Now if you follow us we'll show you around Dauntless before dinner, then we'll show you to your dorm where both boys and girls will be sleeping. We also have a few things to discuss but that can wait. Let's go."

Tobias and I show them to the Pit before leading them to the Chasm. Tobias gives his speech like he did last year, then we go to the cafeteria. The transfers find themselves some tables to sit at whilst Tobias and I go and sit with our friends.

When we're done we show the transfers to the dorm and give them the same speech Eric gave me last year.

We finish and go home, hand in hand.

…

Tobias decided to cook for us tonight. He made spaghetti Bolognese and it was amazing. Like all of his food is.

When we are done eating we decide to get into some pyjamas, curl up in bed and watch a movie. I put on some dark grey fabric short and a black t-shirt. Tobias is wearing a black t-shirt and dark grey jogging bottoms.

We are just about to start the movie when there is a knock on the door.

We groan and stand, walking over to answer it.

When Tobias opens it we find a little girl standing on the other side in factionless clothing.

"Tobias?" She breathes.

"How do you know my name?" He asks.

"I'm your sister."

"What?"

"I can explain."

He nods and lets her in, closing the door behind her.

She sits on the single armchair whilst Tobias and I sit on the larger sofa.

"How old are you?" I ask.

"Five. Six years ago Marcus found our mum and they made me. But Marcus never came back for us. Our mum kept telling me about you. Two years ago told me you came here. She's dying. She asked me to come find you so you can look after me. She kept telling me Marcus was bad man and I can't find him. I had to come find you instead. She doesn't want me to stay factionless."

"B-but Evelyn's dead." Tobias says.

"She faked her death to get away from Marcus."

"Why does she want me to look after you?"

"Because you my brother and she wants a better life for me."

"What's your name?" I ask.

"Tara."

I look at Tobias and see the conflict in his eyes.

"Tara is a pretty name." I tell her. "Your brother and I are just going into the kitchen to talk about something. Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

"Milk please."

I nod and stand, Tobias follows me into the kitchen where I get her a drink of milk and Tobias and I some as well.

"What are we going to do?" I ask him.

"I don't know. I don't want to send her back there. I want her to have a life as well. But I don't know how to look after a five year old."

"Neither of us do. But we can do it together. Right? I'm not going to leave you. I'm not going to let you do this on your own."

"So, does that mean we're keeping her?"

"Only if you want to. She is your sister, and it's your, not so dead, mum that wants her here."

"Fine. We'll keep her. But where is she going to sleep? What is she going to wear? What is she going to do when we're at work? What are we going to tell our friends?"

"We'll figure that out as we go along, okay. Tonight she can sleep with us. Tomorrow we can sort out one of the spare bedrooms for her as we're only working in the morning. We can tell everyone that she is your sister, just not who your parents are. We can tell her to call you Four when we're around others. Tomorrow she can come to work with us, so long as she doesn't get in the way. We'll also buy her some clothes and anything else she'll need. I mean, we're leaders so we have more money than anyone else here. And we're getting more money for training the initiates. We can get through this."

"You seem like you know what you're doing."

"I don't, I'm just trying to think logically about this."

"Okay."

We walk back into the living room to find her still on the sofa. We give her her milk and drink our own.

"You're pretty. What's your name?"

"My name is Tris." I smile at her.

"Are you my brother's girlfriend?"

"Yeah, I am."

It's now that I realise how similar she looks to Tobias. They have the same eyes and hair colour. They have the same smile.

"Let's get you cleaned up and we can go to bed, yeah?" I ask.

She nods and we show her around our large apartment before taking her to our room. We take her to the en-suite and bath her because she is dirty from being with the factionless. We get a spare toothbrush from the cupboard and brush her teeth as well. I give her one of my t-shirts which is big on her, but it's like a nighty.

She gets in our bed and slides into the middle so we can sleep on either side of her. And we do.

She goes to sleep first and she still looks so much like Tobias that it's impossible to not believe her. I do believe her, but I just want to know why Evelyn would leave Tobias with someone as horrible as Marcus.

"You know. I can't wait until we're snuggling up in bed with our own kids." He tells me.

"Yeah. Neither can I." I think about the fact that if I hadn't have had that operation eight and a half months ago I would have a baby by now. In fact, yesterday would have been my due date according to that one scan I had.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I think you know what I'm thinking about."

"You're right. But Tris, we will have our own kids one day. I promise."

"I know. I just can't bring myself to forget about it. Yesterday would have been my due date. But your sister is enough for now. She looks so much like you."

"Yeah. I can't believe Evelyn didn't contact me, though. She could have talked to me about it."

"I can't believe she left you with Marcus."

"Yep. But we'll get through this, together, you and I."

"You and I."

"Let's get some sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow."

"Okay. I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, too, Tris. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Then we fall asleep. Together.

**Hey Ravens. Did you like the twist?**

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review!**


	12. A family

You and I

Chapter 12: A family

I wake up to the sound of the alarm clock. I turn it off and turn to find Tobias climbing out of bed and Tara looking confused.

"What's that?" She asks, pointing to the clock.

"It's an alarm clock. It tells the time and wakes you up when you have to get ready for work, or school, or whatever you have to do in the day." I explain.

She nods. "Do I have to wake up?"

"Yeah, sorry. Tobias and I have to go to work and you have to come with us as we have nowhere else for you to go."

Tobias comes back out the bathroom dressed in black jeans and t-shirt.

"I'll make some breakfast for us whilst you get ready." He tells me, kissing me sweetly.

"Okay."

I get out of bed, grab some clothes and go to the en-suite.

I get washed and dressed into my high waisted black skinny jeans and a dark grey crop top that shows one of the scars on my back so I slide on a black leather jacket over it. I put my hair into a messy ponytail and put on minimal make-up, eyeliner and some mascara.

I go to the kitchen to find Tobias and Tara sitting at the small breakfast table eating French toast and laughing about something. I sit next to Tara and eat the toast on my plate, joining their conversation.

Tara changes into her old factionless clothes as they are the only ones she has, it's black though, and Tobias and I washed it so it doesn't look like factionless clothing anymore. It looks Dauntless.

We walk to the training room with her in the middle of us, holding our hands. Uriah comes up to us with a shocked look on his face.

"How long have I been asleep?" He asks, looking at Tara, assuming she's our kid.

"She's Four's sister. We have to look after her because of personal family matters." I reply.

"Oh, okay. What's your name cutie?" He gets down to her level and pulls a funny face, causing her to laugh.

"Tara." She answers when she's recovered from her fit of laughter.

"Hey Tara, my name is Uriah, but you can call me Uri. My favourite word is Pansycake, can you help me spread it around Dauntless?" She nods her head vigorously.

"Pansycake!" She calls and Uri high fives her.

"Uriah, we have to go to work." Tobias says.

"Okay, I do too. See y'all later."

"See ya." I say and we continue to the training room.

We enter the training room and I take Tara over to the table and bench in the corner whilst Tobias starts setting up. She sits down and looks at me.

"You have to wait here whilst we work, okay. We're only working this morning though so we can go shopping and stuff this afternoon to get some stuff for you and your room, okay."

She nods.

"We'll be using guns so it will be quite loud, but it'll be okay. We won't hurt anybody, I promise. Also, Tobias goes by Four in public and the initiates call me Six so if you need us call us by those names, yeah."

"Okay."

"Good girl. I'm going to help your brother set up, okay."

She nods again. I give her my phone, so she has something to do whilst we're working, and go back over to Tobias, helping him put the guns we need on the table.

The initiates show up on time, which is great.

"Initiates, today we will be teaching you how to shoot…" Tobias starts his speech as I hand out the guns.

When he finishes speaking I demonstrate. Hitting the bulls eye every time I shoot, which is five times.

Then the initiates get to work whilst we go around, helping them out.

I notice Meghan flirting with Tobias and feel jealous. I walk over to them and stand in between them.

"Excuse me, I was talking to him." Meghan says rudely.

"No, you were flirting with him and he wasn't paying attention. But I've come over here to tell you that you're messing with the wrong person. If you flirt with him again I won't hesitate to fight you, and believe me you won't be able to beat me. In fact, I could kill you. I know many ways in which to kill someone. But I won't."

"What gives you the right to do that? It's not up to you who I flirt with."

"Actually it is when you're flirting with my boyfriend. And I'm a Dauntless leader, so is he. We can kick you out right now if we wanted to, but we're giving you a chance. If you flirt with him one more time then you and I are going to have a problem."

"Seriously, her? Why her?" Meghan asks Tobias.

"Because she's beautiful, brave and a whole lot better than you. Also, I love her. I don't love you and never will. So I suggest you stop flirting with me because if you don't she will fight you and you will end up in a very bad condition."

"She's also very nice, unlike you." Tara says as she comes over to us.

"Who's this? She looks a bit old to be your kid."

"She's my sister." Tobias answers.

"I need a wee." Tara tells us.

"Okay. I'll take her whilst you continue training them." I say to Tobias, who nods in reply.

I take hold of Tara's hand and take her to the bathroom down the hall. I wait outside whilst she goes.

We go back to the training room and she goes back to the table.

Soon the initiates have managed to hit the target and we let them go to lunch.

Tobias, Tara and I decided to go back to the apartment for lunch, as a family.

**Hey Ravens.**

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review.**


	13. End of Initiation

You and I

Chapter 13: End of Initiation

Initiation is now over, finally. Meghan still continued to flirt with Tobias, well, she tried and failed. She also tried splitting us up. But it didn't work, obviously. The bond that Tobias and I have is too strong to break. I love him, he loves me, and that's the way it is always going to be.

We have been dating for over a year now, it was our one year anniversary about two weeks ago. He took me on a date whilst Christina and Will had Tara for the night. He took me to the Ferris wheel, our spot in the chasm and back to the apartment where he had cooked a three course meal for the two of us, after dinner I think you know what we did. He brought me a charm bracelet that had a bunch of charms on that represent us as a couple. There is one of a Ferris wheel, a four, a six, a seven, an infinity symbol, a heart, two T's, and more. He also got a photo album in which he put a bunch of picture of us together in, some had Tara in as well. We decided we would add to it whenever something amazing in our life happened, or just when we wanted to.

It was the best anniversary I could have ever dreamed of. I got him a set of six knives that had a bunch of things he has said to me on. One reads 'Be Brave, Tris', another reads 'You look good, Tris', another is 'I'm proud of you', another 'I love you more and more with every day', there are some other quotes on two of them, but the last one is an infinity symbol that has a '4' in one hole and a '6' in the other. He loved them.

Our friends love Tara and Tara loves them. It's like we're a giant family, and we are. My parents also love Tara. They met her when they came for dinner last week. They love her as if they were her grandparents. They kind of are her grandparents since we adopted her a few weeks ago so that she is a full member of Dauntless. She loves them as well. In fact, everyone that knows her loves her and everyone that she knows she loves. Thank God she hasn't met Peter yet, or that she didn't meet Eric, who knows what would happen if they crossed paths.

The rankings were just shown to the initiates. They were:

Tessa (who is Divergent but she managed to hide it well)

Andy (who is also Divergent, and dating Tessa)

Hunter (Dauntless born)

Chase (Dauntless born)

Kim

Melody

Mitch

Em (Dauntless born)

Lucy (Dauntless born)

Oli

Meghan is out, so is Josh (he kept looking at me the whole time, he worked with Meghan to try and break Tobias and I up so I am so happy that he is gone) them, and the rest who are under number ten have until midnight to leave.

Right now Tobias, Tara and I are in our apartment. We are cuddled up on the sofa, watching Frozen because Tara loves it, so does Tobias and myself.

When the movie finishes I realize that Tara is asleep. Tobias picks her up and takes her to her room, to bed.

When he comes back down he sits next to me and wraps his arms around me, kissing the top of my head.

"It's not that hard looking after a five year old after all." He says. "I can't wait to have kids of our own."

"Yeah. Just not now. Maybe in a few years." I reply.

"I agree. Let's go to bed. It's been a long few weeks and I'm exhausted."

I nod and we go to our room. I change into one of Tobias' t-shirts and he changes into some sweatpants. We climb into bed and cuddle together.

"Goodnight, Tris. I love you."

"Goodnight, Tobias. I love you, too."

We kiss gently before drifting into peaceful sleeps.

**Hey Ravens, sorry for the wait, and the short chapter. I have been busy but I will update again when I can. **

**Please review.**


	14. Baby?

You and I

Chapter 14: Baby?

Just under a year passes and it is mine and Tobias' two year anniversary. Today is a day off for the initiates. This past year has been great. Tara is an amazing six year old. She's polite, funny, brave, smart, kind, and so much more. Our friends are great. Tobias and I are fabulous.

Honestly, life is amazing.

I am now eighteen and Tobias is twenty. We don't know when our birthdays are we just know that those are our ages. And to be honest I like it that way. So does Tobias. Our friends don't though. They found out about Tobias' past not too long ago, about his childhood and _Marcus. _They were great about it, they didn't give him those pitying looks which he hates, I also hate them. But they really want to know when our birthdays are. Only so they have more reasons to throw parties.

Of course, if we have children one day, we will let them know when they were born and throw them parties each year. But that's different. They would be born in Dauntless, they would be allowed to know when their birthdays are and we wouldn't want to take that opportunity from them. But for Tobias and I, we have grown up not knowing when we were born, suddenly knowing would be weird, and we're used to not getting presents or anything, suddenly getting presents once a year would be weird as well.

However, we do know when Tara's birthday is. It is exactly a month before initiation starts. We threw her a party. We invited all of our friends over and gave her presents, we got her some Dauntless cake as well. It was fun. But I couldn't imagine anyone doing that for me.

At the moment Tobias and I are in our office, looking over the topics for the next meeting to try and come up with something to say about it. The next meeting is in a week. Tara is at school, we managed to sign her up so she could start this year, and she did start a few months ago, in the middle of the school year, but no one minded. And Tara is loving school.

"Do you want to go on a date tonight? I'll get Zeke or someone to watch Tara for us." Tobias asks me.

"I would love to go on a date tonight."

This morning him and Tara made me breakfast in bed. It was so sweet. They made pancakes in the shape of hearts and some chocolate syrup to go with it. Then he gave me a bouquet of my favourite flowers, roses, and a locket with a picture of him on one side and me on the other. It was beautiful.

I kiss his cheek and stand. I'm about to leave the room when he calls my name.

"Where are you going?"

"Well, you just asked me on a date and knowing Christina, if she found out she would want to dress me up and make me look all pretty for you. And she usually takes forever so I better go and tell her so she can start. Also, she wasn't at lunch and I want to make sure she's okay. I'm sure you'll be fine without me. Love you."

"Love you, too. I'll pick you up from her apartment at seven."

"Okay. See ya."

I blow him a kiss and he blows one back before I leave the room.

…

When I get outside Christina's and Will's apartment I hear a girl, crying, from the inside. Christina. She sounds like she's in pain.

I knock on the door.

"Christina, it's me, Tris. Can you open the door?"

"It's unlocked." She cries.

I open the door and close it behind me as I enter the apartment. I look around and see the bathroom door open. I go in there and find Christina on the floor, with her back resting against the wall, crying and breathing heavily. Sweat trickles down her face.

I rush over to her and kneel down next to her.

"Oh my god. What's happening?"

"I don't know. It hurts, so bad."

"What hurts?"

She grabs my hand and squeezes it, hard, crying out in pain.

"Chris, what hurts?"

"My belly and my back."

"What does it feel like?"

"Like I need to push something out of me."

Okay. What the hell does that mean?

"How long have you been in pain?"

"About eight hours."

"And you didn't call anyone, or go to the infirmary?"

"I thought it was just cramps. But they got worse after a few hours. Now they're terrible."

"Okay, I'm calling Will."

I take my phone out of my bag and dial Will's number before pressing the phone to my ear.

"Hey Tris, what's wrong?"

"Christina is on your bathroom floor, in pain, and I have no clue what's going on. You need to come home right now."

Just then Christina squeezes my free hand as she screams.

"Shit. Was that Chris?"

"Yeah. Hurry."

"I'm on my way."

He hangs up and I put my phone back in my bag.

"Just breathe, Chris. I'm here."

"It hurts so much."

"I know. Has anything else happened, besides the pain?"

"I wet myself." She blushes.

What?

Pain. Water. Pushing.

Shit. Is she pregnant?

"Chris, is there any way you could be pregnant?"

She looks at me, shocked.

"W-what?"

"Is there any way you could be pregnant?"

"Well, we've had sex. But I would know, right? I would know I was pregnant."

"Not necessarily. Some people go through the whole pregnancy without knowing their pregnant. I'm guessing you're in labour. When was the last time you had sex?"

"Uh, two weeks ago."

"Okay. Did you have sex about nine months ago?"

"Yeah. But we always used protection."

She screams in pain again whilst squeezing my hand.

"Okay, I really don't want to do this but I'm going to need to look to see if anything's happening. Thank god you're wearing a maxi dress, but are your panties still on?"

She nods.

"Can you help me take them off?"

She nods again and together we take them off.

When I look to see what's happening down there I see a small patch of head and hair, ready to come out.

"What can you see?"

"You're having a baby."

"What?"

"You're having a baby."

I say that just as Will comes running into the room. He rushes over to Chris' side and she takes his hand after letting go of mine.

"What's going on?" Will asks.

"She's in labour." I look at him as I tell him this.

He looks shocked.

"B-but, we should have known she was pregnant."

"Doesn't always work that way. Where do you two keep your towels?"

"In that cupboard." Will says, pointing to the cupboard in the corner of the room.

I stand and go over to it. I take out two black towels before going back over to them. I kneel in front of Christina so I am facing her.

"Chris, I need you to push when you get a contraction okay."

She nods just as the contraction hits her and she pushes, screaming in pain as she does. Will whispers encouraging words into her ear and doesn't let go of her hand. I just watch as the baby starts to slide out, not really wanting to but having to, for my best friend.

"Okay, the head is out. I need you to push again when you get another contraction, okay."

And she keeps pushing and as she nears the end I help as I put my hands around the baby's waist and guide the baby out as Chris pushes.

Then she's done and the baby is wailing.

"It's a girl." I tell them as I wrap the baby in a towel and place her on Christina's chest.

The two of them look at their baby with awe in their eyes.

I stand up and wash my hands and go into the living room before calling the infirmary. She baby is still attached to the umbilical cord and I have no idea what to do with that.

"Hello, Dauntless infirmary, how can I help you?"

"Hi, my best friend just delivered a baby on her bathroom floor and she didn't know she was pregnant…" I go on to tell them what apartment we are in so they can come and make sure everything is okay.

I go back into the bathroom to find the new parents still marvelling over their new born child.

They look up at me and smile, I smile back at them.

"Thank you, Tris, for being here." Christina says.

"That's okay. Congratulations. She's beautiful."

"Yeah, she is." Christina.

"Some people from the infirmary are on their way to make sure everything is okay."

"Thanks." Will.

I nod at them.

The people from the infirmary arrive not that long later. They run some tests and cut the umbilical cord. The baby is fine, so is Christina. She ends up birthing the placenta on the floor as well, but it doesn't last that long because they gave her a drug that helped to speed things up. When that is done Will helps Christina get changed whilst I hold the baby, and they help Christina to her bed so she can rest comfortably.

They leave after giving Chris and Will a birth certificate they have to fill out by the end of the week. But I stay for a little while longer.

"What are you gonna name her?"

"Ellie May Hughes." Christina tells me.

"That's cute. Congratulations again. I should probably go and leave you with your daughter."

"Yeah, see ya later." Chris says.

"See ya."

I walk out the apartment and walk back to mine and Tobias'. Tobias and Tara are sitting on the sofa when I get there and they are shocked to see me.

"Hey, I thought you were getting ready at Christina's." Tobias.

"Yeah, change of plan. I'm getting myself ready." Me.

"What happened to you top?" Tara.

I look down and see baby goo on my top.

"Long story. Which I will explain later. But I'm going to get ready now. Who's looking after Tara whilst we're out?"

"I was gonna call Will. Knowing him and Christina are way more responsible than any other friend of ours."

"Yeah, well, don't. They need some privacy right now. Call Zeke."

"Okay."

I walk into our bedroom, change into a black dress that clings to the top half of my body and poofs out at my waist. It ends just above my knee. I style my hair so that it is in a half up, half down do. Then I put on some foundation, eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss. I spray some of my favourite perfume on. I then slide on some black ballet flats. I walk back into the living room to find Tara and Tobias right where I left them.

"You look pretty." Tara tells me.

"Thank you."

"You look amazing, Tris." Tobias says as he walks over and kisses me gently.

He gets ready after me whilst I sit with Tara.

Then we drop Tara off at Zeke's and Shauna's before Tobias whisks me off on our date.

**Hey Ravens, how are you?**

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review.**


	15. Date Night

You and I

Chapter 15: Date Night

Tobias and I are on the train, going wherever he is taking me.

"So, what happened at Christina's that made your top gooey and me not calling them to look after Tara for us?"

"Uh, well, I got there and Christina was in their bathroom, in pain. Basically she was pregnant and I had to help her give birth to their baby. I called Will though so he didn't miss anything. I told you not to call them so they could have some time alone with their daughter. She wasn't at lunch because of the pain."

"Oh. She didn't look very pregnant."

"I know. She didn't know. Neither of us did. It was a shock, but they're happy. And the baby and Christina are fine."

"What did they name the baby?"

"Ellie May Hughes."

"Cute."

I see him smiling and I know he's thinking about the time when we have kids together. Though I know I want to wait. I'm only eighteen and he's only twenty. We have loads of time to have kids. Plus, we have Tara to look after and we're still trying to get used to that. Maybe in a couple of years. And I want to be married first.

"So, where are you taking me number boy?"

"Seriously, number boy?"

"Yep. Deal with it."

"Okay. But it's a surprise."

I groan. He knows I hate surprises.

"Stop groaning, you'll love it."

We sit in silence for the rest of the journey. His arm rests around my shoulders and my head is laying on his shoulder.

When we jump I recognise where we are instantly. Navy Pier. The Ferris wheel stands out because there are fairy lights wrapped around the bars. We walk through the area we did when we played Capture the flag during my initiation. And soon we are there. In front of the Ferris wheel, looking up at it and the fairy lights that glisten in the dark.

There is a small, two seater table in front of us as well. It is candle lit and has two plates on, as well as a silver platter in the middle and a picnic basket rests on the floor next to the table. There are two wine glasses on the table also, as well as a bottle of champagne.

Tobias pulls out one of the white chairs for me. I sit on it and thank him as he sits in his own. He pulls the lid off the platter and I see a pile of hamburgers on one side, and a pile of fries on the other.

"I know it's not exactly a romantic meal but it's the first meal you had in Dauntless." He says.

"It's fine. I love it. Thank you."

We eat our meal, drinking champagne, talking and laughing about whatever comes to our minds. Having a great time. Everything about this is perfect. Amazing.

For dessert we have Dauntless cake, of course. It was in the picnic basket.

When we're done eating Tobias stands up and walks over to me. Only to get down on one knee in front of me and pulling out a small box with the most beautiful ring I have ever seen in it. I gasp.

"I never thought I would find someone who I would love and want to spend the rest of my life with. But when you jumped, literally, into my life, I knew I loved you. I knew I wanted a life with you. I knew I wanted to spend every moment of my life with you, protecting you, and loving you. Before you came into my life I wanted to leave Dauntless, I wanted to become Factionless because I didn't like the way Dauntless was and I didn't really have anyone to stay for. But then you arrived and I knew I had to stay, I had to be with you. I had a reason to stay. You. You're so beautiful, brave, smart, selfless, honest and kind. You're amazing. You're more than I could ever be. You mean everything to me, Tris. If you died, I wouldn't know what to do, I would probably jump right into the Chasm, because I can't live without you. If you were ever made Factionless, I would have gone with you, and still would. I love you, more than anything, or anyone. I want a life with you, I want to marry you, have a family with you, and grow old with you. I know it's probably too soon to do this, we've only been dating for two years, but I couldn't wait. But even if you say yes we don't have to get married just yet. I would wait a lifetime for you. We can get married whenever you want, whether that is tomorrow, in a year, or in fifty years from now. But right now, all I know is that I want to marry you, and have a future with you. So, Beatrice Grace Prior, the love of my life, will you marry me?"

Tears a pouring out of my eyes. But not sad tears. Happy tears. I love this man so, so much and he just asked me to marry him.

"YES!" I squeal happily as I fling my arms around his neck and cry into his shoulder. "I love you, so, so much."

"I love you, too."

He slides the ring onto my finger. It's beautiful. It's silver, and there is a grey diamond in the middle, surrounded by a circle of black and blue, smaller, diamonds. I also noticed, before he slid it on, that there is an engraving on the inside that reads '4+6'.

We kiss a kiss that is full of passion and love.

This is the best night of my life so far.

…

When we get home we can't stop kissing. Tara is spending the night with Zeke and Shauna.

Things heat up pretty fast, and I think you know what we do.

**Hey Ravens, how are you?**

**I will update again when I can.**

**Please review!**


	16. Wedding

You and I

Chapter 16: Wedding

It's my wedding day. The biggest day of my life so far. And I'm excited, but also nervous.

It's been two months since Tobias proposed and Christina had her baby. It's been a busy, but amazing two months as well. Ellie is adorable, everyone loves her, but they were shocked when they met her considering none of us knew Christina was pregnant. But everything's okay. We all put some money in and brought them some baby stuff for her and we decorated the nursery together. Christina, Marlene, Shauna and Lynn helped us plan the wedding. It's going to be perfect. Christina is my maid of honour. Mar, Shauna and Lynn are the bridesmaids. Tara is the flower girl. Zeke is the best man. Will and Uriah are groomsmen. My dad is walking me down the aisle. My mum is going to be there too.

My dress is perfect. It's grey, strapless, and is floor length. It comes out at my waist and there are black diamonds in a swirly pattern around the bodice. I don't have a veil but my hair is curled and in a half up, half down do. It also has some small black and grey flowers weaved into it, but not many.

For the honeymoon Tobias and I are going to Amity, we're staying in a small hut thing next to the orchards, it is also by a small lake. My parents are going to be looking after Tara for us. We'll be there for a week.

I can't wait.

Christina has been begging me to have a baby so Ellie has a friend around her age. I just told her I'd think about it.

I am standing by the door, waiting for it to open. We are getting married under the net, where we first met. The bouquet in my hands is made out of black and grey flowers. My dad walks over to me and wraps me in his arms.

"You look beautiful Beatrice, I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks dad. I love you."

"I love you, too."

We let go of each other and the doors open. I put my arm through my dad's as the music starts.

Tara walks down the aisle, dropping black and grey flower petals on the floor. Then Lynn walks, the Marlene, then Shauna, then Christina.

Then me and dad.

As soon as my eyes meet Tobias' I can't help but smile, and he smiles with me.

When we get to him dad kisses my cheek, tells me he loves me, and puts my hand in Tobias' as I move to face my soon to be husband.

The Priest starts speaking and I just look at the love of my life. We say our vows and our 'I do's, we exchange our rings. Then we kiss and everything and everyone disappears. It's just the two of us. In our own little world.

We pull apart and that is when I hear the claps and cheers around us. For us. But we can't stop smiling at each other. We walk hand in hand back down the aisle and as soon as we're outside he takes me into his arms and picks me up, bridal style. He runs with me in his arms to our reception so we can be there before anyone else. The reception is being held in the cafeteria, which is off bounds to anyone who isn't part of the wedding. Thanks to mine and Tobias' leadership we were allowed to do that.

When everyone is there we eat, and dance, and have a good time. We cut the huge Dauntless cake we had made for it and give everyone a slice. We obviously get the biggest ones.

Then it's time to leave for our honeymoon. We say goodbye to everyone and go.

Tobias drives us to Amity in a fancy car.

I can't stop thinking about today. And the rest of our lives. Our future.

I keep thinking about Christina begging me to have a baby. But do I want that now? Or do I want to wait a bit longer?

"What are you thinking about?" Tobias asks me, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"You. Today. Our future."

"What about our future?"

"Everything." Should I tell him about what Christina wants me to do? "Christina's been practically begging me for us to have a baby for the last two months. She wants a friend for Ellie."

He looks shocked.

"What did you tell her?"

"I said I'd think about it. I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. Especially since we have to be extra careful after what happened last time." I don't like talking about it but I know now we have to be careful with any future pregnancies.

"Well, I'll be ready whenever you are. Just know that you don't have to get pregnant just because she wants you to. It's up to you considering you're going to be the one carrying the baby for nine months. If you want a baby now, we can have a baby now. If you want to wait a bit longer, we can wait. I don't mind."

"But do you want a baby now? It's as much your decision as it is mine since it's going to be your baby too." I look at him and see him smile.

"I would love a baby now, Tris, but I will wait if that's what you want. Don't just do it because Christina and I want it. You have to do it because you want it."

I think about it more.

Do I want a baby now? Do I want to wait?

I have my answer.

**Hey Ravens, so I'm going to put this story on a break, but only for about a week. It's just so you guys have time for whether they should have a baby now or wait. It's completely up to you. There is a poll on my page where you can vote, but only choose one answer. **

**I will update again in about a week.**

**Please review!**


	17. Honeymoon

You and I

Chapter 17: Honeymoon

"Okay." I say, we're still in the car, on the way to Amity for our honeymoon. I've made my decision on whether I want to have a baby now or wait.

"Okay, what?" He looks over to me for a few seconds before turning his attention back to the road.

"Okay, we can start trying for a baby now."

His smile is so huge that it makes me smile as well.

"Really? You're not just doing this because I want it, are you? You're doing it because you want it as well?"

"Of course I want a baby with you, Tobias. I was just scared. But I know I can get through it with you by my side, and you always will be, I know that. So yeah, we can start trying for a baby. And I want to try for a baby."

"Thank you, Tris. You just made me even happier than I already was."

"I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, too."

And soon we find ourselves in Amity, trying for a baby.

…

We just tried for a baby, it's still the first night of our honeymoon. We're breathing heavily, I'm lying on my back and Tobias is on his side, looking down on me, his head rests on his hand, his other hand is on my belly.

"I wonder if that time worked." He speaks as if he's deep in thought. I know how much he really wants a baby. I want a baby too. I place my hand on top of his.

"Well, we have time to keep trying. If it doesn't work out this time we just keep going at it. And we have our whole honeymoon to try for a baby."

He plants a gentle kiss on my lips and another one on my stomach, he whispers something to it but I don't catch it because sleep pulls me in.

…

A week later and we are on our way back to Dauntless. Our honeymoon was great. Every night we tried for a baby. He made me breakfast every morning. We went exploring during the day. We played in the lake a few times and imagined doing the same with Tara and our kids one day. We decided to come back here at least once a year, for a holiday.

In a week I'm going to take a pregnancy test, we know that they don't pick up hormones until you're at least two weeks along. And I'm going to take one a week after as well if the first one comes out negative because I might not be two weeks pregnant at the time. Or I might not be pregnant at all. But we can keep trying until it works out.

We arrive at our apartment to find my parents and Tara playing on the floor with some dolls.

"Tobias, Tris!" She runs up to us and wraps her little six year old arms around our waists.

"Hey, T."

My parents hug us as well and we all sit down and talk.

"Did you have fun?" Tara asks us.

"Yeah, it was amazing. We've also decided that maybe we could go on holiday there once a year with you. Would you like that?" Tobias would be so great with our kids.

"Yeah!"

"Tara, why don't you go and get the pictures you've been drawing to show them?" Mum says, Tara nods and runs to her room. "What are you two hiding?"

I look at Tobias and he nods at me.

"We started trying for a baby." I tell them. They both look happy as they get up and hug me again.

"We're so happy for you. I can't wait to be a grandma."

"And I can't wait to be a grandpa."

"Well, I might not be pregnant yet, but that's good to know."

Tara comes rushing back in as my parents sit back down, smiling like idiots. Tara gives Tobias a bunch of paper and we look through the drawings together. They're really good for a six year old. My eye catches a particular one where there is me, Tobias, Tara and a baby sitting on the floor playing with some toys together, smiling. I smile at it. I notice that Tobias does as well.

"Do you like them?" Tara asks.

"We love them so much that I think they should go on the fridge." Tobias stands and takes them to the kitchen.

Tara plops herself in my lap and wraps her arms around my waist.

"Are you and Tobias going to have a baby one day?"

"Yeah, maybe one day soon. When do you want us to have a baby?"

"Now."

"Well, if I do happen to get pregnant now it's still going to take a little while for the baby to get here."

"What does pregnant mean?" She asks that just as Tobias sits next to me. I look at my parents for help, they've had this talk with both me and Caleb. But they just stand up, say goodbye and leave.

Great.

"Uh, pregnant means that there is a baby in a woman's belly." I look at Tobias for help.

"How does the baby get there?"

Now we really need help.

"Uh. Um." I stutter, thinking of a way to explain it to a six year old.

"I think that's a discussion for another time. When you're a bit older." Tobias says.

"Okay. I'm tired, I'm going to go and take a nap." She climbs off me and goes to her room again.

"That was awkward." I sigh.

"Yup. Why were you talking about that stuff anyway?"

"She asked if we were going to have a baby one day. I told her yeah, one day and told her that even if I did get pregnant it would take a little while for the baby to get here. Then she asked what pregnant means."

"Well, I, for one, really hope you're pregnant soon, maybe even now."

"I hope so too."

We kiss passionately and he places his hand on my belly. My hand automatically goes on top of his. It just feels right for it to go there.

"If I do get pregnant, or if I am pregnant, what do you want it to be?"

"Well, I would really want a little girl that looks just like you. But honestly, I really don't mind so long as he or she is happy and healthy. What about you?"

"I would really like a little boy that looks like you. But same, so long as they're healthy and happy that is all that matters to me." I start thinking about last time I was pregnant and what the doctor warned us.

"Tris, what's the matter?" He wipes something off my cheek with his thumb and that is when I realise that I am crying.

"What if I have another ectopic pregnancy? What if the baby dies? What if I have a miscarriage? What if something goes wrong and the baby isn't healthy?"

"Tris, no matter what happens, I am always going to be here with you, okay. I promise. If something goes wrong we'll stick together and we'll be okay. We can try again if something does happen. We'll be okay. And we have our friends to help us, and your parents, if anything bad does happen. We'll get through everything life throws at us, together."

"Okay. Together."

"Together."

**Hey Ravens, how are you?**

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review!**


	18. Pregnant?

You and I

Chapter 18: Pregnant?

Another week passes and Tobias and I decide to take a test today to see if I'm pregnant yet. But if this one comes out negative we'll take another one in a week as I might be pregnant just not two weeks pregnant, which is how far you have to be before a test can actually pick up pregnancy hormones in the urine.

The test is in the en-suite, ready to be taken, but I'm waiting for Tobias to get home from taking Tara to school.

I'm nervous, and kinda scared. If I am pregnant we have to book a doctor's appointment straight away because there's a high chance of me having another ectopic pregnancy.

Tobias arrives home after another five minutes and we go to our bedroom. He sits on the bed and I go to the en-suite to take the test. When I'm done I go to the bedroom with the test in my hand and sit next to my husband. Waiting in a hopeful silence. Tobias' watch goes off, signalling that the five minutes are up and the test should now have an answer on it. I look at Tobias and he nods at me with a look of love and hope in his eyes.

I hesitantly turn the test over in my hands so I can see the result.

And when I do see it I can't help but smile as tears, happy tears, well up in my eyes.

I'm pregnant.

We're going to be parents.

I look at Tobias and nod, still smiling, he smiles too now.

He wraps his arms around me and mine automatically go around him. Ecstatic tears line my cheeks and I know he's crying too, I can feel his tears landing on my shoulder.

"We're having a baby!" He sighs happily.

"Yeah, but we should probably book a doctor's appointment. For today. To make sure everything's all right."

He nods and let's go of me. He stands and pulls me up with him, we go to the living room and he picks up the phone, dialling the number for the infirmary. I sit down next to him on the sofa, the test still in my hands as if letting go of it would mean that I'm not pregnant.

"Hello, my wife and I just did a home pregnancy test and it came out positive, we were just wondering if we could come in and see a doctor to make sure everything is okay… About two weeks… Yeah but last time she had an ectopic pregnancy and we were told if she ever got pregnant again to see a doctor as soon as we found out… Yeah, that's fine, thank you… Bye." He puts the phone down and turns to look at me. "We have an appointment in an hour, with the nurse that looked after you last time."

I just nod and lean into him, thinking about last time. I just hope everything works out throughout the pregnancy.

…

We just had our appointment. We saw our baby, who is about the size of a pea, during the ultrasound. It's tiny, but it's our baby, and it was beautiful. We have a picture of it as well. But it's not an ectopic pregnancy, which is good, and we just have to hope that everything is going to run smoothly throughout the next thirty eight weeks. We'll have an appointment with the midwife, whose name is Lucy, once every two weeks, just to make sure everything is going well.

When we get home Tobias makes us some lunch and we eat together in the kitchen, at the breakfast table. We decide to put the ultrasound picture on the chest of drawers in our bedroom for now, just until we get a photo album to put it in, along with the others we get throughout, and the pictures we take of our child growing up.

We sit on our bed, watching movies until we have to get Tara from school. We take the car since it's probably not the best idea me jumping on and off a moving train right now. After we pick her up we decide to go and visit my parents in Abnegation and tell them about the baby. They're amazed at the news, and so is Tara. We stay for dinner but at seven we head home and get Tara to bed.

Then we just sit on the sofa in the living room, his arm around me with his hand resting on my belly, and my hand over his.

"I can't believe we're going to be parents." He whispers in awe.

"Yeah. Let's just hope everything works out, right?"

"We'll be okay. I'm sure we will be."

I just nod and we continue cuddling together for a little while before deciding to go to bed.

Please God, let the baby be okay.

**Hey Ravens, how are you? Sorry for the short chapter. **

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review!**


	19. Cramps

You and I

Chapter 19: Cramps

I wake up in the middle of the night to a sharp pain in my stomach. I'm only six weeks pregnant. This shouldn't be happening. Is something wrong with my baby? Another pain comes and a tear slips out of my eye. I decide I have to wake Tobias up. I turn so I'm facing him and put my hand on his shoulder. Shaking him as I cry.

"Tobias. Wake up." Another pain spreads through my abdomen and a weird, animal-like sound escapes my mouth, which causes Tobias to wake up, finally.

"Tris, oh my god, what's the matter?"

"It hurts." I cry out with my hand clutching my still flat belly.

"Okay, I'm taking you to the infirmary." He gets out of bed and picks me up, bridal style, taking me out of the apartment and leading me to the infirmary.

"What about Tara?" I say before another pain hits me and another weird sound escapes my lips.

"I'll call someone to go round when we get you to the infirmary." I can tell he's scared, like I am. I start sobbing into his shoulder. "Hey, it's going to be okay, I promise. I'll be by your side the whole time. No matter what."

When we get there we see Lucy and Tobias calls out to her. When she sees us she rushes over.

"What's going on?"

"She's getting pains."

She nods and leads us to our usual room, Tobias gently places me on the bed and he sits in the chair next to it, taking my hand in his.

"Tris, I'm going to do an ultrasound, okay. Can you move your hand, please?" I do as I'm told and move my hand off my belly. She does what she has to do but I don't look at the screen. Fearing what I'll see if I did. She doesn't say anything for a while and that gets me more worried. My baby's going to die. "Tris, your baby is fine."

What? I look at the screen and see our baby on it, I see the little heart pumping away. The baby's okay. The baby's alive. But why does it hurt?

"You're getting cramps. Most women get them in early pregnancy, and yes, it does scare the shit out of them, but most of the time the baby is fine. Cramps are a normal part of pregnancy. You don't have to worry, unless you start bleeding with them. But your baby is fine. I will however keep you in until the afternoon, just to make sure, okay?" I nod, still in shock. Tears still line my cheeks. But I don't take my eyes off the screen. I don't take our eyes off our growing baby. "I'll print off a picture, since your next appointment was, well, today anyway. Get some rest." She prints off a picture and gives it to me before wiping my stomach and pulling my shirt back down.

She leaves the room and I look at Tobias, who has also been crying.

"I was so scared." I cry. He moves so he's sitting on the edge of the bed and he wraps his arms around me.

"I know. I was, too. But the baby is okay. We're okay. Everything is going to be okay. I promise. I love you."

"I love you, too."

We sit there like that for a little while longer before Tobias calls Zeke and asks him to go and look after Tara until we get home. Then he comes back to the bed and slides in next to me, wrapping me in his arms and kissing the top of my head.

"I'm sorry for scaring you." I tell him.

"Hey, it's okay. You were in pain and scared. You had every right to wake me up. And I'm glad you did. But it's okay now. We're okay."

I nod into his chest.

"Are you still getting cramps?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want me to ask if there's anything she can give you to stop them?"

"No, it's okay. They're not as bad as they were when I woke up. I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Get some rest. It's been a long night."

"Okay. Goodnight, Tobias."

"Goodnight, Tris."

And my eyes close.

…

I get to go home that afternoon since Lucy did another ultrasound and everything is still fine. As soon as we arrive Tara rushes over to us and wraps her arms around us.

"Why weren't you here? Zeke told me you were at infirmary."

"Yeah, is everything okay?" Zeke asks from where he is with Shauna on the couch. We told everyone about the pregnancy two weeks ago, my parents already knew of course but our friends didn't.

"Yeah, we're fine. It was just cramps. Everything's okay." I reply.

"Good." Shauna breathes.

"Thanks for looking after Tara." Tobias tells them.

"That's okay. Anything for our best friends, even if it's at two o'clock in the morning." Zeke bro hugs Tobias. Zeke and Shauna leave not long after that.

Tobias and I sit on the floor with Tara and we all play with some of her dolls together until dinner. It's fun but I can't keep my mind off last night and how scared I was. Terrified even. Thank god it wasn't a miscarriage.

"Tris, are you okay?" Tobias questions, snapping his fingers in front of my face to break me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking."

He nods and we go back to playing with his sister.

But I still can't get it out of my mind.

**Hey Ravens. **

**I will update again when I can.**

**Please review!**


	20. Cravings

You and I

Chapter 20: Cravings

When I wake up the first thing I notice is the smell of bacon wafting in from the kitchen. I get out of bed and walk to the kitchen to find Tobias frying some bacon and Tara sitting at the breakfast table.

"You're making bacon!" I squeal, excited. They both look at me like I'm crazy.

"Yeah, I'm making bacon. Are you okay?"

"Yup." I kiss his cheek and sit opposite Tara, waiting for the bacon to be done as I eat some grapes.

"You sure you're okay, Tris?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Tara. It's just my hormones, and cravings."

"What are hormones?"

"Uh, something that makes your mood change when you're pregnant. You'll understand it more when you're older. I think you learn about it all in school in a few years."

"Okay."

Tobias puts a plate in front of me that has my bacon sandwiches on it, he puts one in front of Tara as well. He makes his own sandwich and sits next to me, eating. I shovel my sandwich down quite fast and they look at me weird before laughing.

"What? I'm pregnant, I'm hungry and I'm craving bacon."

"Okay. Well, I'm going to take Tara to school. You get ready and I'll meet you in the garage so we can go to the meeting, okay?"

"Okay. See ya."

Tobias and Tara leave the apartment and I go to the en-suite of mine and Tobias' bedroom to have a wash. I get dressed into a black pencil skirt and a dark blue blouse. I tie my hair into a messy bun, apply some simple make-up (foundation, mascara and eyeliner) and slide on some three inch black heels. I spray on some perfume and grab my bag before head down to the garage to meet Tobias. He is standing next to the car, waiting for me.

"You look amazing." He tells me.

"Thank you. You look hot."

"Thanks. Let's get going." He plants a kiss on my lips and opens my door for me. I climb in and so does he, then we're on our way.

…

We're home from the meeting now. It was boring, as usual, the most interesting part was me getting morning sickness during it and having to explain why I was puking into a plant pot. They all seemed happy about the baby though.

As soon as I got home I changed into something more comfortable, namely one of Tobias' t-shirts and some leggings. Though I haven't started to show yet, since I am only ten weeks pregnant, smart clothes like that annoy the hell out of me.

Just then Tobias walks into the living room from the kitchen with a plate of fried bacon and tomatoes in his hand. He gives me the plate and I thank him quickly before eating.

"I see the baby has quite the appetite." He says smiling as he sits next to me with his sandwich on a plate.

"Yep, god I'm hungry. Sorry for puking in the middle of the meeting."

"Tris, you don't need to keep apologising for that. It's just part of the pregnancy. And it made it more interesting than it was."

"I ruined Jack's plant."

"He's a leader, he can buy a new one. Tris, he didn't mind. No one minded. Also, you don't have to go to the meetings until the baby is born if you don't want to, so you don't have to sit through all of that boring stuff like I do."

"I know. I'm pretty happy I don't have to sit through those for the next thirty plus weeks."

"However, where are we going to take the baby since we can't exactly take them to the meetings with us?"

"I'm sure one of our friends wouldn't mind looking after him or her for a few hours whilst we're at a meeting. We'll figure something out… Do we have any Dauntless cake?"

"Yeah, it's in the fridge. Do you want me to get you a bit?"

"Yes, please. And make it a big bit."

He takes our plates to the kitchen and comes back a few minutes later with two plates of Dauntless cake. We dive into our pudding and both groan of satisfaction before laughing.

…

We just sent Tara to bed and are getting ready for bed ourselves, but as I look at him and his shirtless body all I want to do is have sex. God, these hormones are driving me crazy, I swear.

I stride over to him and smash our lips together passionately. It gets more heated every second, and I think you can guess what happens.

**Hey, sorry for the short chapter.**

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review!**


	21. Bumps and Lunches

You and I

Chapter 21: Bumps and Lunches

When I wake up to the sound of the alarm clock I'm surprised that I don't feel the need to throw up yesterday's dinner. I have thrown up every morning since a week after finding out about the baby. And sometimes at other points of the day as well.

Tobias groans, turns off the alarm and gets out of bed.

"I'll make some breakfast." He says before kissing my forehead.

"Okay. I'll get Tara out of bed." I climb out of bed as he leaves the room.

As I walk past the full length mirror I notice something different. I look back in it and notice what it is. I lift up the shirt, which is Tobias', which I am wearing, and turn to the side. There, on the lower part of my belly, is a small baby bump. I smile and place my hand on the curve, rubbing my thumb over it lightly. It's small, and you could really only notice it if I was wearing something that clung to my skin and you knew I am pregnant, but it's there.

Someone walks into the room and says my name. I look at the door and see Tobias standing there.

"Are you okay? I've been calling you for like five minutes. Breakfast is ready."

Instead of answering I walk over to him and take his hand, placing it on my bare bump, only bare because I am still lifting my top up slightly. He gasps when he feels it and he looks down at my belly, smiling brightly.

"You're showing." He breathes.

I nod, smiling myself.

I see tears glistening in his eyes but he pushes them down. Like I do with my tears of happiness that are about to fall. I kiss him gently, a smile still on both of our faces.

"Breakfast is going to get cold." He whispers.

I nod and he takes my hand, leading me to the kitchen where Tara is already nearly finished with her pancakes and bacon.

Tobias and I sit and start eating the delicious breakfast. Both of us still can't stop smiling.

"Are we seeing Natalie and Andrew today?" Tara asks, referring to my parents.

"Yeah, we're going round there for lunch." I answer.

"Yay. Can I wear my new dress that Auntie Chrissy got me?"

"Sure. I'll get you ready when I'm done eating, okay?" I reply. She nods and gets up from the breakfast table and going to her room.

When I'm done eating I thank Tobias and go to Tara's room to find her sitting on her bed, waiting.

"Have you had a wash?" She nods.

I get her new black dress out of the wardrobe and help her put it on and do it up. It's pretty, it sticks out at her waist and flows down to just below her knees. There are silver sequins patterning the bodice as well.

"How do you want your hair?"

"Braid."

I braid her hair down her back and when I'm done she looks beautiful.

"Done."

"Thank you, Tris."

"No problem. Why don't you go and watch TV whilst Tobias and I go and get ready?"

"Okay."

She runs off.

I go to my room to find Tobias coming out of the en-suite with nothing but a pair of black jeans on. He kisses me and slides on a dark grey t-shirt.

"Where's Tara?"

"Watching TV."

"Okay, I'll be watching TV with her then."

He kisses me again and leaves.

…

We are now in the car, on the way to my parent's house in Abnegation. I am wearing some black leggings, since they are the only bottoms that now fit me, and a nice dark purple blouse and covers my bump since it doesn't cling to my skin. My hair is in a ponytail and I was too lazy to put any make-up on. I am wearing black ballet pumps and so is Tara, Tobias is just wearing some trainers.

We park outside the house and get out of the car just as my mum opens the front door to the house, smiling at us. Tara runs up to her and wraps her arms around mum's waist, mum hugs her back. Then she hugs Tobias, then me.

We enter the house and find my dad in the kitchen, cutting up some vegetables for lunch. He stops what he's doing and hugs Tara and me, he shakes Tobias' hand though. He gets back to cooking and mum leads us to the living room.

"Do any of you want anything to drink?"

"Water please." Tara says.

"Same." I say.

"I'm good, thanks." Mum nods and goes to get the drinks.

When she comes back she sits next to me and we all talk about whatever really comes to mind. The baby is one of the topics.

"How's the pregnancy going?"

"Fine. I think the morning sickness is over. And I started showing."

"Really?" She's smiling a lot now.

"Yeah. I noticed it this morning."

"Can I feel it?"

I nod and she places her hands over my belly, feeling my bump through my blouse. I see tears fill her eyes but she doesn't let them fall.

"It's amazing, isn't it?"

"Yeah." I breathe out slowly.

"Have you started getting cravings yet?" She removes her hands from my belly.

"Yup. I've been craving bacon, tomatoes, cake, hamburgers, spinach, and other things." I try not to blush but by the look on her face I think she can tell what else I've been craving.

"I remember that time, too, sweetie. With both you and Caleb."

"Thanks mum, I really wanted to know that."

…

We just finished lunch and now mum and I are in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes. I'm washing and she's drying and putting away. Tobias, Tara and my dad and in the living room, talking or whatever.

"Mum, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, honey. Anything."

"Uh, I was wondering if maybe you could be in the room with me, when I give birth. Tobias will be there, it's just I want you there with me as well."

"I would be honoured to be in there with you. I always wanted to be there when you had children, even if you transferred, and you did, I was going to find a way to be in the room with you, to hold your hand and help you through it. And I remember, both times that I was in labour, wanting my mum to be there for it. But she couldn't be, so I made I promise to myself that I would be there for you. Just tell Tobias to call us when you go into labour and we'll be there as soon as we can. Your dad can wait in the waiting room and I'll come in and help."

"Thank you. It means a lot."

"Hey, I'll be here with you, helping you with whatever you need, until the day I die, I promise. And I'm hoping I don't die any time soon because I want to meet my grandchild, and any more you might give me after this one."

I smile. I hope she doesn't die any time soon. I need her.

"I love you, mum."

"I love you, too, Beatrice."

She kisses my forehead and we get back to doing what we were supposed to be doing.

**Hey Ravens, how are you?**

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review!**


	22. Kicking

You and I

Chapter 22: Kicking

I am now seventeen weeks pregnant and I'm getting bigger. The girls had to take me shopping for maternity clothes since the only things that would fit were Tobias' clothes. I am in the car, driving Tara to school because Tobias is at an early leader's meeting. I am wearing some black yoga pants and a dark grey hoodie. My hair is in a messy bun and I'm not wearing make-up because since becoming pregnant I've been too lazy to put any on.

I pull up outside the school and say goodbye to Tara as she leaves. I then decide to drive to my parent's house. I know my dad will be at the meeting with Tobias but I want to see my mum.

I pull up outside and get out of the car, locking it behind me. I knock on the door and soon mum opens it and smiles when she sees me.

"Hey, sweetie. Look at you. You're getting big." She says, hugging me but it's slightly awkward with the bump in the way.

"Yeah, I am. Sorry for dropping by without any notice, but I thought I'd come and see you."

"It's okay. You can come by at any time. Come in."

She shuts the door behind me and we make our ways to the living room. We sit on the main sofa together and my hands automatically go to my bump.

"Have you felt any movement yet?" Mum asks. "It was around this time that I felt movement with both you and Caleb for the first time."

"No, not yet. What does it feel like?"

"Well, when the baby kicks it feels like a little thump against your belly. You can also feel when the baby hiccups, they just feel like repetitive jerking movements. Sometimes you feel a fluttering as well. That's just the baby moving."

"Wait, I've felt fluttering but I thought nothing of it. I didn't realise it was the baby moving." I smile slightly at the thought of my baby moving. I feel a fluttering again and this time I know what it is, it makes me smile brighter. "The baby just moved." I whisper.

Mum smiles at me and I see tears in her eyes. I'm sure tears are in mine as well but I push them down.

"Do you want anything to eat or drink?" She asks me.

"Uh, water please."

She nods and goes to get me some water.

We spend a few hours talking about things, the baby being one of them. Dad gets back just as I am about to leave. We chat for about five minutes before I tell them I should probably get home so Tobias doesn't worry.

I get to the apartment just as Tobias does.

"Hey, are you okay? It shouldn't have taken that long to take Tara to school."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I went to see my mum for a bit."

"Okay."

We go in and he makes us some lunch. When we're done eating we sit on the sofa, watching a movie. Just as the move finishes I feel it. A little thump on the side of my stomach. A kick.

I gasp, placing my hand over where the kick was, and Tobias looks at me, worried.

"What? What's wrong?"

I don't answer. Instead I take his hand in mine and place it on the spot where our child just kicked for the first time. He or she does it again and this time he gasps. I look at him. We're both smiling, and tears shine in our eyes.

"Did the baby just kick?" He asks in awe.

"Yeah." I breathe as a tear slides down my cheek.

He kisses me, passionately and I don't hesitate to kiss back. Our baby kicks again and we pull away, laughing slightly.

"I don't think our baby likes it when we kiss." I joke.

"Oh well."

And we kiss again. This is one of the happiest days of my life so far.

**Hey, sorry for the short chapter. **

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review!**


	23. Sleepover

You and I

Chapter 23: Sleepover

A week later and I am sitting on the sofa, bored as hell, wearing black sweatpants and one of Tobias' black jumpers. I am eighteen weeks pregnant now so my bump has gotten bigger. Tobias has gone to take Tara to school so I am at home alone.

My hands rest on my bump, trying to calm my son or daughter down, they won't stop kicking. I struggle to sleep some nights because of it as well, so I'm tired as well.

There's a knock on the door and I groan, reluctantly getting up to open it. Christina is on the other side, holding Ellie, who is now twenty six weeks old, in her arms.

"What's the matter with you?" She asks.

"The baby keeps kicking so I haven't been able to sleep very well, and my hormones are annoying me. Also, I am really craving chocolate ice cream but we haven't got any so Tobias has to get some on his way back from taking Tara to school. You know what, you should be happy that you didn't have to go through all of this stuff."

"Really, I would have loved to feel Ellie move and kick, and stuff. Though, morning sickness not so much."

"Thank god that's over now."

"Anyway, the girls and I are having a sleepover round Shauna's apartment and we were wondering if you wanted to come. Bear in mind that there'll be a six month old baby there as well. And she's teething, so she'll probably wake up quite a bit."

"No, it's okay. I'll come. You can maybe teach me some things on how to be a mum. I'll just have to wait for Tobias to get back so he knows where I'm going, and I need to pack some stuff. I'll meet you there."

"Okay. See ya soon."

"See ya." Then she's gone and I close the door. I plop onto the sofa again.

About half an hour later Tobias comes back with a large tub of chocolate ice cream in his hands. I smile and grab it from his hands, taking it to the kitchen and grabbing a spoon from the drawer before sitting at the kitchen table and eating some ice cream, which is slightly melted, but it's still cold and yummy.

Tobias sits opposite me and smiles.

"Oh, I almost forgot, I'm spending the night with the girls at Shauna's apartment. I don't know where Zeke is going to go but maybe he can come here or something."

"Okay, but I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you, too. But it's only one night, I'll see you again tomorrow."

"I know. Be careful."

"I will."

After eating some more ice cream I put the rest in the freezer and go to our room to pack some stuff for the night. I pack two of Tobias' t-shirts, some more sweatpants, a pair of shorts, my toothbrush and toothpaste, my hairbrush and my deodorant all into my sports bag that will soon be used as my hospital bag for when I've had the baby.

I say goodbye, kiss him sweetly and then I'm on my way.

…

We've spent the last few hours eating popcorn, and ice cream, and pizza, as well as watching movies. And the baby is really not behaving right now. It's kicking constantly, even more than it was before I came. I'm thinking he or she misses their daddy. I miss their daddy too. But it's good to hang with my friends once in a while.

Ellie is asleep in the travel cot that Christina brought with her, and we're all watching this chick-flick together. I'm sitting on the sofa, my hands rub my belly gently, trying to get the baby to calm down, but it won't. It's almost as if they're telling me something.

After the movie we all try to go to sleep, I'm on the sofa with the pillow that helps me sleep, wearing one of Tobias' t-shirts and some elasticated fabric shorts. A thin blanket covers me and I'm trying to sleep but the baby's constant kicking really isn't helping.

I get a cramp and I groan into the pillow so I won't wake anyone up.

"Tris, are you okay?" Shauna asks, sitting up and looking at me, she's closest to me, on the floor.

"Yeah, it was just a cramp."

"Do you want me to call Tobias?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

I nod, but I get another cramp and I groan. Shauna holds my hand and I squeeze it.

"Do you need to go to the infirmary?"

"No, it's fine. It's normal to get cramps in pregnancy."

"Okay…" But that is when we hear two gunshots from somewhere in the compound. The others hear it too because they wake up, and Ellie starts crying. Christina tries to comfort her daughter. "We should probably go and see what that was."

We all nod and leave the apartment, slowly, carefully. We head in the direction the gunshot came from and as we get closer I realise we're nearing my apartment.

Tobias.

Tara.

As we get closer I hear a little girl crying. Tara.

When we get to my apartment the door is cracked open slightly.

I open it and see something that brings tears instantly into my eyes. Tobias on the floor, unconscious, blood oozing out of his stomach. Tara is kneeling next to him, crying. There's a Factionless man on the floor unconscious as well but I don't care about him. I rush over to Tobias and kneel next to him. I check his pulse and breathe a sigh of relief when I feel one, it's small and faint, but he's still alive.

The other boys come rushing in the door to the apartment and come over. Zeke and Uriah pick Tobias up and carry him to the infirmary. I follow, holding Tara's hand, trying not to cry too much. The girls and Will are following I know, I can hear their footsteps.

We get to the infirmary and nurses take Tobias away on a stretcher, I try to follow them but they won't let me. I just collapse into a chair in the waiting room and cry.

Why would someone do this to him? To us?

Why would a Factionless man do this?

I just hope he's alright.

**Hey Ravens, how are you?**

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review.**

**Also, if you are reading my story Life after a War could you please go and answer the poll question on my page about it? It would help me out a lot. Thank you.**


	24. Please be okay

You and I

Chapter 24: Please be okay

Its five hours after we arrived in the hospital when a nurse finally comes out to tell us some news. She stops in front of me, knowing I'm his wife.

"Is he okay?" I ask shakily, scared.

"He's going to be fine. We managed to remove the bullet from his stomach, luckily it didn't hit any major organs. But he did lose a lot of blood so we're giving him some blood transfusions. He's still asleep right now but he should hopefully wake up soon."

"Can we see him?"

"Yeah, but only one at a time for now, okay?"

I nod.

"Tris, you should go and see him. We'll look after Tara." Zeke says, the others nod.

"O-okay."

I stand up and follow the nurse to his room.

"What happened to the Factionless man who shot him?"

"He's alive. He'll be taken to Candor when he's healed to be put under truth serum. We need to know why he tried to attack your family."

I nod and she opens the door to Tobias' room.

I go in and find Tobias in the bed, wearing a hospital gown and attached to monitors and drips. He's paler than he was before, but probably due to the blood loss.

The nurse leaves the room and I sit in the chair next to his bed, taking his hand in mine, squeezing it lightly.

Why would someone do this to him? To us?

Why would a Factionless man do this?

Our child is doing somersaults in my stomach, kicking every now and again. I put Tobias' hand on my belly so he can feel it. And sure enough this wakes him up.

"Tris?" He breathes.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Sore. Tired. What happened? Why am I in the hospital?"

"A Factionless man went into the apartment and shot you, but you shot him as well. They're going to take him to Candor when he's heeled to find out why he was there and why he shot you. Don't worry, you're okay, and so is Tara. Tara wasn't hurt at all."

"Sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. It's not your fault."

"Are you and the baby okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine. Everything's fine. I love you."

"I love you, too."

I sit on the edge of the bed and kiss his lips gently.

"Get some sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up."

He nods and closes his eyes, soon asleep again.

I sit back in the chair but I don't take my hand out of his.

I soon fall asleep as well.

…

I wake up to Tobias saying my name. I look at him and see that Tara is here as well.

"Hey." I say, still groggy from sleep.

"Hey Tris. Tobias' nurse said she wanted to talk to you." Tara tells me.

"Okay. I'll see you two in a bit."

I stand up, kiss both of their foreheads and go to find his nurse.

I soon find her and she looks at me, smiling sadly.

"What? What's going on? Is Tobias okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine. But the Factionless man woke up and we don't need the truth serum, he told us exactly why he did it as soon as he saw the Dauntless guards at his door that meant he can't escape."

"Why'd he do it?"

"Apparently someone called Evelyn got him to do it. She's apparently Tobias' and Tara's mother. She's better now, she was ill but somehow she's managed to get better. The illness is why you were looking after Tara, but now that it's gone she wants her daughter back. She wanted him to come to Dauntless and get Tobias and Tara to go to the Factionless with him so they can be together, as a family again. She doesn't know about you, or that you and Tobias are married and expecting a child. But she wants them back and apparently will do anything to do so."

I'm shocked to say the least.

"But we've adopted her, she can't just have Tara back. And as for Tobias, he's a twenty year old man, he doesn't need her. Doesn't she know he's a leader of Dauntless?"

"Apparently she does know he's one of the leaders but she still wants him back. She wants him to resign and go to the Factionless with her, and Tara."

"What's going to happen to the man who shot him?"

"He's going to be put in prison for five years. Jack came in this morning and once we told him what happened and the man backed it up, he decided the sentence. But it won't stop Evelyn coming for Tobias and Tara. So they're putting guards around the entrances of Dauntless and we have to hope for the best."

"Thank you. For telling me."

"That's okay. Now go back to your husband."

I nod and go back to the room.

When I arrive they look at me expectantly.

"Well, what did she want? Is everything okay?" Tobias asks as I sit back in the chair I was sitting in before.

"Yeah…" And I tell them, everything that the nurse told me.

They both look shocked. Tobias looks a bit angry as well.

"Don't worry. We won't let her take us. We'll be fine." Tobias tries to reassure me. "And it's not like I can leave you, the baby and Dauntless behind. You're my home. I'm not going anywhere. Also, we adopted Tara so that means we're the ones with legal custody of her, she can't do anything."

I just nod, hoping that we'll be okay.

**Hey Ravens, sorry for the wait. I've been so busy lately trying to sort out college and stuff, I also go back to college next week so I'll be even busier, with less time to write. Sorry. **

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review!**


	25. Going Home

You and I

Chapter 25: Going Home

A week later and Tobias is finally allowed home. In fact, we are going home right now. Tara is walking in the middle of us, holding our hands. My spare hand is on my nineteen weeks' pregnancy bump. Tobias' spare hand is holding onto his crutch which is to help keep him upright when he walks. He's still recovering, and in a lot of pain, but he's getting there. He's through the worst now.

Luckily Evelyn hasn't done anything over the past week. She hasn't sent any more people to hurt us.

I say that now, but when we get to our apartment, there she is. Sitting on the sofa. Her right leg over her left. Smiling slyly at us. We all look at her, shocked.

"Tobias, Tara. It's good to see you again. Who's this _pregnant_ woman?"

"This is my wife, Tris." Tobias tells her quietly, quiet isn't good with Tobias.

"She's your _wife_. Oh, Tobias. You could do so much better than _her_."

"Shut up. She is the best person I have ever met, and I love her. Now get out of our apartment."

"Not until you and your sister come to the Factionless with me, forever."

"I'm not leaving Dauntless, my friends, or Tris and my baby. This is my home and I would never come to live with you."

"Why not?"

"Because you left me. You abandoned me so I could get beaten by Marcus on my own. You're a coward. I needed you and you weren't there for me. I don't need you now. I'm fine here. In fact, I love my life now. And Tara can't come with you because we adopted her, we're her legal guardians now so you have no right to her."

"You what?"

"You were dying. It was either adopt her or have her sent back to the Factionless because she wouldn't have been a member of Dauntless. You gave her to us, maybe you should have thought about that before you sent her here."

"But I'm not dying anymore. I want her back, and I want you back as well. But I don't want your wife or child. They can stay here."

"I'm never going to leave them. I'm not the person who abandons the people they love, wait, you didn't love me and neither did Marcus."

"I do love you…"

"Why did you leave me then? You could have taken me with you. You could have saved me. You could have stayed and helped me."

"Marcus was going to kill me. I had to go."

"And leave your only son with someone who abuses people? Just go."

"No. we're staying and that is final. Now go before I call security."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, I would."

He moves his hand so his finger is over the button on the wall that calls security if needed. Evelyn looks shocked but she stands and makes her way over to us, to me.

"This is all your fault." She says before punching me and pushing me to the floor. She kicks me in the stomach and the pain is unbearable. I hear Tobias shout my name as he pushes the security button. Tara screams. I just cry and hold my belly.

Three security men come and two of them take Evelyn away, Tobias tells the other one to take me to the infirmary. He picks me up and takes me, Tobias and Tara following behind.

I just cry as my whole world crumbles in front of me.

Please don't let my baby die.

That's the last thought I have before I'm drowned in a sea of black.

**Hey Ravens, I am so sorry for the wait but I have been so busy lately, and I started back at college so I have had a lot of homework to do and other things. I'm also trying to get a job. So I have had an interview and stuff. But I will try to make a schedule that allows me to write some more. **

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review!**

**Sorry for the short chapter. **


	26. Fears

You and I

Chapter 26: Fears

My eyes open slowly, blinking to adjust to the bright lights above me. I look around the room. I'm in a hospital room. Tobias sleeps in a chair on the right side of my bed, holding my hand. His cheeks are red raw from crying. I am hooked up to various things. A bag of blood, a bag of nutrients, and another bag filled with god knows what, a machine which shows my heart beats and pulse rates, and another machine which is attached to my bump, measuring the baby's heartbeat.

The baby. Evelyn hurt my belly.

Is the baby okay?

My belly hurts.

Tears fill my eyes.

Tobias.

I squeeze his hand and he wakes up. He looks at me sadly.

"Is our baby okay?"

He looks down at the floor for a second before looking back at me.

"They don't know. The ultrasounds wouldn't pick up anything. All we know is that the baby is alive and the kick to your stomach set you off into labour."

"But it's too early. I'm only nineteen weeks pregnant."

"I know. They're giving you a drug that slows down labour, they're hoping you will last until about twenty four weeks before the baby comes, but they don't know… they're going to try everything they can to make sure the baby is okay. They've got advanced equipment from Erudite which means no matter when the baby is born they should be able to keep him alive, and well. But they want you to be at least twenty four weeks, that's the ideal time. You have to stay in the hospital though, until the baby is born."

"Him?"

"It's a boy."

A small smile tugs at my lips but I'm crying. I'm having a son. We're having a son.

"Why are they giving me blood?"

"Because a little after we arrived here you started bleeding. It scared the hell out of me, but as far as they can tell the baby is alive and well."

A contraction comes and I groan, squeezing Tobias' hand. I rub my belly gently, even after it's gone.

"What are they doing to Evelyn?"

"Uh, she's in prison, for the attempted murder of an unborn child, and getting someone to come here and kidnap us which nearly ended up with me being dead. She'll be in prison for the rest of her life."

"Where's Tara?"

"She's staying with your parents at our apartment. I called them to tell them what's going on and they decided to come and stay so I told them they could stay there, in one of the spare bedrooms."

I nod. "Can I at least wear something more comfortable? This gown is so itchy." I say, gesturing to the black hospital gown I am wearing.

"I'll ask." He presses the call button, not wanting to leave me, and probably knowing that I don't want him to leave.

Soon a nurse walks in and she smiles sadly when she sees me.

"It's good to see you awake. What can I do for you?"

"Can I wear some of my own clothes? This gown isn't very comfortable."

"Sure. I'll call your parents and ask them to bring down some comfortable clothes for you."

"Thanks."

Then she's gone.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Two days."

Wow, I was asleep for two days whilst being in labour. And they want me to be in labour for another five weeks. Great. Sounds fun.

Soon my parents and Tara enter the room, my mum has a bag in her hand. They all hug me, with sad smiles on their faces. Tara's smiling though, I'm guessing that she doesn't really understand what's going on. She's too young to understand.

My mum gives me the bag and the three of them leave again. Tobias stays to help me get dressed into some baggy grey sweatpants and one of his dark grey t-shirts. My parents must know that I like to wear his clothes then. When I'm back in bed he lets them back in and my parents sit in the remaining two chairs whilst Tara sits on the end of my bed.

"How are you feeling?" Mum asks, taking my hand in hers. I end up having to squeeze it because of a contraction. Thank god they're not too painful yet. I just groan through it.

"Fine, I guess. Tired, and in pain, but I'll be okay." I'm scared as well, terrified even, but I don't want Tara to know that, it will just scare her, I guess the others can see how scared I am but they don't question me.

"How long do you have to stay in here, Tris?" Tara asks.

"Not too long, hopefully." I lie.

We talk for a few more hours before they leave. They all give me and Tobias a hug, and my parents try to tell me that everything will be okay, but I can't believe them just yet.

Then it's just me and Tobias again.

He lays next to me on the bed, his arms around me, my head rests on his chest and I am laying on my side because my back is killing me right now, he's rubbing it for me though and that's helping.

"Can we think of a name for him?" I ask, needing something to take my mind off the fact that I'm in labour with our son when I'm only nineteen weeks pregnant. And that there might be something wrong with him. Or he might die.

Yeah, I can't stop thinking about those things but he needs a name.

I feel our son kick lightly and Tobias does too, this brings a small smile to my face. He's alive.

"Okay, what names do you like?"

"James, Luke, Mason, Matthew, Theo, Ansel, Miles, and Jake."

"I love those names too. But I also like Nathan, Tomas, and Jay."

"I like those too. I'm thinking Tomas James Eaton. What do you think?"

"I think that's the perfect name for our perfect little boy. We can save the other names for if we have another son one day."

"Tomas James Eaton it is then. I just hope he's okay."

"He'll be okay, I'll make sure of it." He kisses the top of my head gently. "Get some sleep, I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Okay. Goodnight, Tobias, I love you."

"Goodnight, Tris. I love you, too, and our little Tomas."

It isn't long before I drift into sleep.

Please let our son be okay.

**Hey Ravens, how are you?**

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review!**


	27. Family

You and I

Chapter 27: Family

I have been in the hospital for a week now. In labour. At twenty weeks pregnant. Apparently this is a good thing because it means that the drug they're giving me to slow the labour down is working well, and hopefully I should make it at least another four weeks before actually giving birth to our son.

My time in here, so far, has consisted of eating, drinking, crying, weeing, vomiting, groaning and talking. Tobias stays with me most of the time. Unless he has to go to a meeting, or go to the toilet, or go home and get changed, or get food for us. My parents come a lot as well, we've decided Tara shouldn't come because we don't her to see me like this. And our friends come a lot as well.

Apparently I am only two centimetres dilated, which is good. If I average two centimetres a week then I should last until I'm twenty four weeks pregnant, but they also so that once I'm past the early stages of labour (which is between zero and four centimetres dilated) that my labour could be a lot quicker since that is when things tend to pick up the pace. Though, hopefully the drug keeps me in labour for a while. That way our son has a better chance of… surviving.

Right now Tobias is sitting next to me in my bed, holding my hand so I can squeeze it when I need to. Although the pain isn't too bad yet it is still painful. The other leaders have said that he doesn't need to go to any more meetings until the baby is born. Which is good because it means that he doesn't have to leave me as often.

"The gang have insisted on making the nursery for us. In fact, they're starting it today."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Since they know it's a boy and this is when we would have started building the nursery for him they decided to take the matter into their own hands since we can't be there to do it ourselves."

"B-but w-what if…?"

"He'll make it, Tris, I promise. He's a fighter, just like his parents."

"But he might not. It's way too early."

Tears fill my eyes and I let them fall. I've been very emotional this past week.

"We'll be okay. Our family will be okay." He kisses my forehead but I could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

Our son might die.

Our little boy might die.

Our Tomas might die.

Another contraction comes and I hiss as I squeeze Tobias' hand. He holds me and whispers soothing words to me as it continues.

"I don't know if I'll be able to handle another four weeks of this."

"You'll be okay. I'll be here, with you, the whole time, I promise."

I just nod into him.

The door opens and in walks Christina with a tray of food in her hands. She smiles at me sadly as she sits in the seat next to my bed, placing the tray on the little table over my bed.

Tobias moves to sit in the chair on the other side of my bed and I move so I am facing the food. Hamburger and chips. With a large slice of Dauntless cake. Just what I need right now.

I start eating after thanking Christina.

"How are you feeling?" She asks me.

"Great." I reply sarcastically.

We all chat for about an hour before she has to go back to work. She takes the tray with her.

It isn't long before I yawn.

"Why don't you try and get some sleep? I'll be here the whole time."

"Okay. I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, too, Tris."

He kisses my lips gently and then I drift into sleep.

…

Tobias' POV:

I hate seeing Tris like this. Upset and in pain. I know she'd be in pain if she'd gone into labour at full term but we wouldn't have as many worries then as we do now. I mean, she's twenty weeks pregnant and in labour, because of the person I used to call my mother.

Our son could die.

No, I'm not going to let that happen, and neither are the doctors, right?

Our son can't die.

She's already lost one child and I'm not going to let her lose another.

I just hope everything works out for us in the end.

**Hey, sorry for the short chapter, I am so ill right now, and I only got like four hours of sleep last night so I am tired as well. **

**Anyway, do you think the baby is going to live? Do you think the baby is going to be okay? Is something going to happen? What about Evelyn? I want to know what you think is going to happen in the story. I also want to know what you want to happen.**

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review!**


	28. Worse

You and I

Chapter 28: Worse

Another week passes and the pain is getting worse. And I know it will only continue getting worse. Especially since I have reached active labour. I am now four centimetres dilated. But I made it another two centimetres this week, so it should stay like this.

Tobias is on the bed with me. Holding me as I cry into his shirt. He's also holding my hand so I can squeeze it when I need to. His other hand is rubbing the lower part of my back since it is killing me right now.

"You know you can ask for pain killers? Like an epidural or something."

"No, I need to feel this."

"Why?"

I pull my head out of his chest and look at him sadly.

"Tris, he's going to make it."

"He might not. So I need to feel it. Just in case. And the doctor said that if I did then it might counteract the medication and speed up labour. It can also counteract the medication to help the baby develop a bit more. I'm not going to let that happen. I can't lose him."

"We're not going to lose him."

"Stop saying that. I know you're only saying it to make us feel better. But we both know that it is way too early for him to be born and there is a high chance of him not making it." A contraction runs through my belly and I squeeze Tobias' hand. "Ow."

"I really don't like seeing you in pain." He mutters but I still hear it.

…

There goes another week and it just gets worse and worse. But the thing is that the medication isn't working as well anymore. I am eight centimetres dilated. Meaning I'm going to give birth to him within the week.

I'm so scared. Terrified even.

It's too early. I'm only twenty two weeks pregnant.

Now my mum and Tobias is staying with me since I wanted her here as well when I gave birth and I could at any time.

Another contraction spreads through me and I cry out, squeezing my mum's and Tobias' hands.

I have a feeling that he's going to come soon. It's going too fast. My contractions are too close together. He's been moving and kicking less as well. I told the midwife, Lucy, and she did an ultrasound, everything's okay apparently. But I don't think it is.

I'm scared.

So scared.

…

I wake up in the middle of the night with a terrible contraction and water running down my legs. I cry out, successfully waking up Tobias and my mum. They help me through it the way the normally do. By holding my hands and whispering soothing words to me. Holding me in their arms.

But when the next contraction comes I know that the baby is coming now.

"I need to push." I say slowly, in between the deep breaths I take.

We're all worried. I can tell.

Tobias pushes the call button. Lucy and some nurses rush into the room. Lucy checks how far dilated I am, and when she nods I know this is it.

My baby is coming and there's nothing we can do to stop it.

I'm scared.

"Tris, I need you to push on the next contraction, okay?"

I don't want to do it, I want to keep him in me for as long as possible. But I have to. I can't get rid of the need to push. He's coming now. And I can't stop that. No matter how much I want to.

So I push as hard as I can, squeezing the hands in mine. I push about ten times before I no longer feel any physical pain.

But the baby isn't crying. I knew he wouldn't be. But what scares me most is when she cuts the cord and rushes out of the room with my baby in her hands. A few of the nurses follow her. My tiny baby who is big enough to fit into her palms.

Then I'm just screaming and crying. Wanting my baby to be okay but knowing there's a high possibility he won't be. My mum and Tobias just hold me.

One nurse stays as I birth the placenta, still screaming and crying because it's the only thing I can do right now. But then she's gone as well and it's just us three. Left in our tears of worry.

And somehow I manage to cry myself into a restless sleep.

**Hey Ravens, sorry for the shorter chapter. **

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review!**


	29. News

You and I

Chapter 29: News

I wake up to someone calling my name and shaking my shoulders. Tobias. He's looking into my eyes. And he's been crying. We've all been crying. I see Lucy standing at the foot of my bed and straighten up.

"How are you feeling?" She asks me.

"Sore. Tired. Worried. Is my son okay?"

"He's stable. We're giving him oxygen, nutrients and some other medicines to help him develop. But this is going to be a long journey. You know there is a high chance that he won't make it, but every day that he survives it raises his chances. We'll do everything we can to help him. He's strong, like his parents so he has a good chance there. He will be here for a few months, probably up until around the date you were due. It really depends on when he is healthy enough to go home. He weighs 1 pound and 5 ounces, he is eleven and a half inches long. To be able to go home he has to weigh at least six pounds, but it still depends on how well developed his organs are, etcetera."

Tears fill my eyes as she speaks.

"Can we see him?" Tobias asks, squeezing my hand as he does. My mum holds my other hand.

"Yeah, but only you two at the moment as you're his parents. I'll go get a wheelchair for you and I'll take you there."

I nod and she's gone.

…

He's tiny. So tiny. He's lying on a pillow in the incubator, his arms and legs have some foam pads strapped to them to protect them. He wears a blue hat that is too big for him. He wears a diaper as well, but that is also big on him. There is a cannula in his nose giving him oxygen. There are needles in various parts of his body giving him various things. He's sleeping.

Me and Tobias both have an index finger in his hands. Tears flow down my cheeks at a steady rate. They are lining Tobias' cheek as well. He sits in a chair on the other side of the incubator, I sit in my wheelchair.

There are no other babies in this room. Only our son. Tomas. Our perfect little boy.

Who might not make it?

I really have to stop thinking like this.

He's going to make it.

Right?

I can't lose another kid.

"He's going to be okay, Tris. I promise. He's strong."

"B-but…"

"He'll make it. Okay?"

I just nod. Giving into his hope because that is what I need right now.

…

We're back in my hospital room now. They allowed me to get into some clothes from home so I'm wearing some loose grey sweatpants and one of Tobias' t-shirts. I have a teddy in my arms that we brought for Tomas a few weeks before I went into labour. It's a normal, brown haired teddy bear. We didn't know what I was having at the time but we saw it and loved it immediately. Tobias is in the chair on the right side of my bed. He holds my hand.

I wanted to stay with our son. Tobias did too. But we have to obey the visiting hours.

My mum, dad, and Tara enter the room after about five minutes of silence. Tara sits on her brother's lap and he holds her, smiling slightly. My parents sit next to me on the bed.

"How is he?" Dad asks.

"Okay. He's stable. But he's so tiny." Tears cloud my vision and I let one fall.

He holds me in his arms, and so does my mum.

"Everything will be alright." They both tell me.

But I can't believe them.

**Hey, sorry for the wait and the short chapter, but I have been so busy and ill lately that I just haven't had much time to write. **

**If you are reading my story Love Goes On then could you please go and answer the poll question on my page for it? It would be a lot of help. **

**I was also wondering if you could go and follow my Instagram and Tumblr, if you have those things of course. My Instagram is paige_madison_makepeace and my Tumblr is paigemakepeace my Tumblr is mostly dedicated to my photography, and my Instagram is photography and everything else really. On these you can ask me anything via DM or on one of my pictures and I will reply as soon as I can. Or we can just talk. Obviously you can talk to me and ask me questions on here via PM or by review, but if you want me to reply to your review then you'll have to be logged in so I can PM you in response. I do have Facebook but I am thinking of making another one dedicated to my writing, photography and film making (when I get around to making short films/music videos), I will only do this though if you want me to. Tell me if you want me to make a Facebook page in your review. On there you will be able to ask me questions, talk to me, and find out what I am doing in regards to writing, photography, etc. and when.**

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review! And tell me if you want me to make that Facebook page. **


	30. Weeks turn into Months

You and I

Chapter 30: Weeks turn into Months

We sit with him every day. Tobias, me, our son. We just sit in his room, whenever we're allowed, and we watch. Waiting for him to grow and get better. Waiting for him to be allowed home.

I'm released from the infirmary a week after Tomas was born. But still, every day we go and we sit with him. Holding his hands. Talking to him. Letting him now that his parents are there for him, and that we love him, no matter what.

The nurses took some of my breast milk to give to him, they said it will help him more because it has everything he needs in it. They have enough to last him two weeks and then they'll ask for more. But I don't mind. I will do anything to help my son get better.

Tobias and I don't get much sleep at night because we're too worried. Too scared we're going to lose him. We take a phone with us everywhere, just in case they call us because something happened. I end up crying myself to sleep a lot. Wishing he could just be at home with us, in our arms. Healthy. Happy. Here.

We haven't even held him yet.

We're not allowed to hold him until he's bigger, less fragile. We're not allowed to hold our own son.

I didn't want to come home. I wanted to stay in the infirmary until he was released. But apparently they needed the bed. So I had no choice.

I barely want to eat anymore. I'm too worried to eat. But I do because I know I have to be healthy, for my son. I have to be healthy for him. And for when he comes home.

Tobias and I haven't been doing any work. We've been leaving it to the other leaders. But they don't mind since the circumstances we're in means we're not around enough to be proper leaders right now. So, we're taking our holiday time, plus some more time. Just until Tomas gets better and he's at home with us. Then, when we're at meetings Christina and Will are going to look after him, and when we're not at meetings we'll be at home.

Weeks pass and he gets better. Slowly. He's growing. Gaining more weight. His organs are developing more.

Our friends finish the nursery and it's amazing. It's the room on the right of mine and Tobias', so he's close and we can get to him quick if he needs us. The walls are painted a baby blue colour and his name is painted in black on one wall, the wall which his black crib is next to. There is an armchair next to his crib that one of us will sit in whilst feeding him, or just holding him. His other furniture is black, his wardrobe, changing table, book shelf, chest of draws. He has a bunch of clothes as well. And toys, some of which are in the cot or on the armchair, others are in a treasure chest. There are loads of children's books on the book shelf. There is a mobile above his crib which has stuffed animals on.

Anyway, it's a great room and I'm sure he'll love it.

My parents have been looking after Tara most of the time since Tobias and I are the only ones that can see Tomas and we're in there whenever we can be, which is basically whenever visiting hours allows us to see him. There should be a rule, though, that allows parents to see their children constantly when they're in the hospital. I think I might make it a rule when I go back to work, because I can't stand being away from him for a second, let alone hours at a time.

He's five weeks old now, I would be twenty seven weeks pregnant if I hadn't have given birth to him when I did. It's been more than a month and he's still here. Still small, but bigger than he was. Still unhealthy, but healthier than he was.

I'm back to the size I was before I got pregnant with him.

I feel like time is going in slow motion. Like nothing is going at its usual pace. Like I'm stuck. Frozen in the same continuous circle, going round and round. I am, really, I wake up early, get dressed, eat something quick for breakfast, come to the infirmary, and sit with my son until visiting hours are over, I have a snack around lunch time, then I go home, have dinner, get dressed, and go to bed. Everything around me goes slow. The only things that matter are Tobias, my son, Tara, my parents and my friends. But mostly Tobias and our son.

I feel like life will only go back to the way it was once Tomas is out of hospital, and at home with us. Life will pick up and go back to its usual pace.

Right now, I'm just sad all the time. Sad. Worried. Scared. Terrified.

Those are the only emotions clouding my head. As well as love. Love for Tobias, our son, my family. But that's outweighed by the worry that courses through every ounce of my body.

Another month passes and he continues to get better. I would be thirty one weeks pregnant now. I'm still worried. So is Tobias. So is everyone. Sometimes I wonder if it's natural for me to feel the way I do. If it's natural for me to feel this much worry, and sadness. But my mum just tells me it's alright. That it's perfectly natural for a mother to be worried about their children, especially under these kind of circumstances.

The doctors say that Tomas needs to stay in the infirmary for at least another month. In a months' time he might be well enough to come home, but it depends. It could be more than that.

But a month is a long time.

I just want my son in my arms. I want to take him home and be able to protect him from there.

I wish I was still pregnant so he would be okay, instead of being attached to what seems like a thousand wires, and tubes, and needles.

Time still goes slow.

Tobias is still the most perfect husband ever.

But I want my son.

That's all I want right now.

I want my son to be healthy, and at home with us so we can be his parents.

We still haven't held him. I just want to hold him. I want him in my arms so I can protect him from the world and all of the bad things in it.

Its torture, sitting and waiting as the nurses try to help him get better and Tobias and I are just there, in the side lines. Doing nothing because there's nothing for us to do but wait, and hope. There hasn't been a day where I haven't cried at least once. Just because I want to be his mum. But I can't do that yet. I can't be a proper mother to him. Tobias can't be a proper father to him.

And that's all we want.

**Hey Ravens, I am so sorry for the wait but I had writers block, and I've been ill as well as in a lot of pain due to my many health problems/disability, and I might just have another health problem as well, which I've had like three blood tests to test for. I get the results next Friday. I've also had loads of College work to do. And I've been trying to find a part time job since I need some more money.**

**But it is half term so I should be able to update again at least once this week. **

**If you are reading my story Love Goes On, could you please go and answer the poll question on my page for it, it would help me out a lot, thanks.**

**I will update again when I can. **

**Please review. **

**If you want to friend me on the Facebook page dedicated to my writing, photography, and film making (when I get around to making short films and music videos), the link is on my page, along with some details about what you can do, and find out, on the Facebook page itself. You will be able to find out what I am doing and when in terms of those three things. As well as being able to ask me anything at any time, I will reply when I can. And that's just the beginning. **

**P.S. Happy Halloween, if you celebrate that since it is this week and I don't know when I'll be able to update next!**


	31. Holding him

You and I

Chapter 31: Holding him

Another month passes and Tomas is now thirteen weeks old. I would be thirty five weeks pregnant now if it wasn't for Evelyn. We wouldn't have to worry about him. He's getting better. But the doctor's say he still needs more time, he can't breathe on his own yet since his lungs still aren't fully developed. But other than that he's fine.

We still haven't held him. We still cry ourselves to sleep. We still cry at random parts of the day. We still are only able to see him during visiting hours.

It's still painful.

Tobias and I are walking hand in hand to the infirmary. It's seven in the morning and we're going to visit our son because it's all we want to do. My parents are looking after Tara. They've been helping us out a lot.

We enter his room and there's a nurse in there, checking his vitals and whatever else she has to do.

"There you are. He's doing well. The doctor told me to tell you that you can hold him today, if you want."

I'm shocked, I'm sure Tobias is as well.

"Really? We can hold him?" I ask.

"Yeah, but not for long. Only for about an hour a day until he's good to go."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Get yourselves comfortable and I'll go get the doctor."

We nod and she leaves. I sit down in the chair to the right of his incubator and Tobias sits in the chair on the other side, smiling slightly.

It's five minutes later when the doctor and nurse arrive, smiling at us.

"Good morning, you ready to hold your son?" The doctor says.

I nod cheerfully.

He opens the incubator and gently lifts out my little boy, placing him into my open arms.

I smile down at my son as a tear spills out of my eye. A happy tear.

He's wearing a baby blue onesie, and he has a cannula in his nose as well as a needle in the back of his tiny hand feeding him nutrients.

He looks up at me in awe and reaches his small hand up in the air. It put my index finger against his palm and he wraps his tiny fingers around it. I smile even brighter.

Tobias comes round and kneels in front of us, smiling down at our baby boy.

"I'll leave you both to it. I'll come back in an hour. If you need anything just ask a nurse to call me."

The nurse and doctor leave.

I kiss Tomas' forehead gently and Tobias does the same, before kissing mine.

"I love you both, so much." Tobias whispers.

"We love you, too." I kiss his lips gently and go back to looking at our son. "He's perfect." And he is. He's got hair now. It's the same colour as Tobias', and it's thick as well. He has my eyes. He's still quite small but he's a lot bigger than he was when he was born.

"Yeah, he is. Just like his mum."

"And his dad." I say whilst blushing.

He's the perfect mix of both of us.

We love him. And we will always protect him.

I just want him to come home so that we can be proper parents to him, and hold him whenever we want for however long we want. I want us to be a family.

I want our son to be okay.

After another twenty minutes of holding him I place him into Tobias' arms, he moved his chair around so he can sit next to me. He's so gentle and cute with our son. How he ever thought he would turn into his father I don't know. But he is amazing. He won't ever be like him because he has the ability to love like no other.

"You're a great dad, you know." I tell him.

"You're an amazing mum." He replies, placing a kiss on top of my head.

We spend the next half an hour with Tobias holding him. But when he goes back in his incubator we sit there, holding his hands because that is all we can do now. We have to let him know that we're here for him. That we love him. And we'll do everything we can to make sure he has a great life.

When we head home that night we're both smiling, I mean, we were about to hold our son for the first time. Why wouldn't we be smiling? He's getting better. He's going to be okay. We can bring him home within the next month according to the doctor, though, the last time he said that it didn't happen. But this time I believe him. Because Tomas is our son. He's strong. He brave. He's amazing. And he's going to make it.

I know he is.

Hey Ravens. I'm sorry for the wait.

Anyway, just thought I'd let you know that my original short story is now available on Amazon as a paperback. And on January 28th I can start putting the Kindle version on other e-book sites, so if you tell me what e-book things you use if you use any other than Kindle then I can put it on there for you when I'm allowed.

Also, if you are reading my story Love Goes On then you still have time to go and answer my poll question for it. It is on my page.

I will update again when I can.

Please review!


	32. Epilogue - 10 years later

You and I

Epilogue – 10 years later

I smile as I watch Tobias playing with our children from the doorway of the kitchen. He is a great dad. And he knows it. I make sure to tell him every day because I know he still fears becoming Marcus. I understand why but I don't see why he can't see that he will never become him, he is the most loving, and kind person I have ever met. He is nothing like the man he used to call father.

Tomas was allowed home two weeks after we first held him, and he's grown into an amazing, healthy, ten-year-old. He's smart, brave, selfless, honest and kind. He is the best son I could have ever asked for. And he's an amazing brother as well.

Yeah, Tobias and I went on to have two more children after him. Our second child, our beautiful daughter who is the spitting image of her father, Tara, is now eight years old and she's all of the things that Tomas is. And then our current youngest, another boy, Tate, he is four and again, all of the things his siblings are.

I said current youngest because I'm currently five months pregnant with our fourth child, a girl. Tobias and I couldn't be happier about the newest addition to our family, though our friends think we're stupid for having so many children. They've only got two at the most. But there's something nice about having a larger family, it's more warming and welcoming. When I get home from a meeting and I see my family, waiting for me to get home so we can have dinner and spend some quality time together, it makes me the happiest person in the world.

But life has been great, no people trying to split us up or kill us. We're safe. And we're happy. That's all that matters. Our friends. Our family. All of us are happy. We all stick together, and help each other out when we're needed. That's what friends do. Everyone has married and had kids. Uriah and Zeke still host the occasional party and joke around like little kids. We're all fine.

And that's all that I could have hoped for.

**Hey Ravens, I'm sorry for the wait, and I'm also sorry to say that this is the end of this story. I have had major writers' block recently, and I've been busy with college, and work, and other things. I just haven't had much time to write. **

**But, I will update my other fanfics when I can, and I will write more stories as well, when I have time. **

**Some people have asked me why I spelt Tomas the way I did instead of spelling it with like Thomas. It's because of another book trilogy I am in love with, The Testing (it is amazing and you should go and read it if you haven't already), the Tomas in that is spelt the way I did and I felt like I should do something different. Though, I have an idea for a fanfiction for this trilogy though I don't know whether to write it or not because there aren't many on here and I don't know how many people have read it and want fanfictions for it. If you have read it and want me to write the fanfiction then tell me and I will get to work on it asap. **

**I will update my other fanfictions asap. **

**I hope you enjoyed this story. **

**Please review!**


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